By David Wygant
So you’ve got a first date with that guy who you just think is so amazing. He’s got the perfect resume. He even called you when he said he would. Youâ€™re at his place, and heâ€™s arranged a nice dinner. Everything seems perfect.
He just might be â€śthe one.”
::RECORD SCREECHES TO A HALT::
First of all, let’s throw out the perfect resume, because as we all know, when it comes to dating, nobody is as perfect as his resume. Eventually, heâ€™s going to become real, and when he becomes real, the question is: Do you still like him? But thatâ€™s not what this post is about; itâ€™s about how to give yourself an opportunity to get to know the real him.
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Itâ€™s probably no surprise that many women scare men away on the first date. Here are a couple of things to avoid discussing and ways to ensure that heâ€™ll ask you out again:
1. Bash your ex. You talk about your exes like they are the worst people in the entire world. What that tells a man is that, when he becomes your ex, youâ€™re going to destroy him just like you bash your previous boyfriends. If you must talk about your ex on the first date, talk about him in a positive wayâ€“the things you learned and how youâ€™ve grown as a person since your relationship ended.
2. Talk about your desire for a child. Every man wants to meet the cool woman who he can just hang out with, who understands his fantasy football obsession, who will spontaneously buy a ticket to Hawaii to play in the surf and sand. Yes, you can ask him if he wants a family and kids on the first date, but what you don’t want to say is that you can’t wait to be a mom.
â€śI can’t wait to go to soccer practice. I can’t wait to get the mini van. I just can’t wait to be a mother.â€ť Now, all he’s going to think about is how he can’t wait to drive that mini van away from you. Remember that he wants the cool woman.Â He knows that you’re a woman and that you want children, but he wants to feel like a man, not like a sperm donor. He doesn’t want a vision of life schlepping around the suburbs; instead, he wants to envision a hot and sexy beach vacation.
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These are two tips that I tell women all of the time: stop with the bad ex talk and stop with the womb-vacancy talk. Be fun.Â Be cool. Be open to his suggestions. Get to know one another. And most importantly, have a good time.
It’s just a date. Itâ€™s supposed to be about getting to know one another in the present moment to see whether or not you like each other. Have fun as a couple. Grow as a couple. Allow the relationship to take off. And by doing that, youâ€™ll be able to get past that first date and maybe onto a second one.
To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website atÂ www.davidwygant.com.