Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of MenCupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Men


By Rachel Sparks

The relationship advice in this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video will help you understand why you keep attracting the same type of guy and how you have the power to change that! Watch the video above, featuring founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima and Sandra Fidelis.

Relationship Advice to Help You Stop Attracting Mr. Wrong and Start Attracting Mr. Right

1. Discover your core beliefs: “There are certain things that you pick up throughout life that shape your reality,” Fidelis says in her relationship advice. “When it comes to love, whatever you believe is possible for yourself is what you will attract.” If you are continuously facing abuse in relationships, you may internalize those failures as your own and begin to believe that you do not deserve more out of love. Evaluate past relationships; it’s never just one person’s fault when a relationship fails. If you find that you are in a cycle of dating the same guy in different skin, that’s a sign that there is something in your beliefs that needs healing.

Related Link: Single in Stilettos Show: He’s Great, But…

2. Change your story: Once you discover your core beliefs, you have the power to change them. “What you believe is what you create,” Fidelis says. If you discover that you don’t believe in love or that you don’t deserve it, challenge those beliefs so that you can change the dating cycle you’ve created. Fidelis advises, “When searching, focus on the energy of the relationship you want to create together.” Avoid superficial traits that you may think you want. Height or aesthetic preferences lose significance to the energy of a healthy relationship. Oshima adds, “You limit yourself when you focus on superficial wants.” What is more important: how tall a man is or how he makes you feel?

Related Link: Single in Stilettos Show: Do You Push for Commitment Too Soon?

3. Break your routine: After you’ve discovered your core beliefs and chosen the story of your future, you need to take these discoveries out into the world. Going to the same places that you always have will only keep you around the same types of people. “You need to put yourself in front of the type of guys you want to attract,” Fidelis states. Oshima offers her own advice, “Sometimes what we think is our type really isn’t if every relationship keeps ending.” Open your mind to other people. Ridding yourself of negative beliefs will allow you to be more attracted to different types of people. Have fun with it!

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos show, click here.

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