By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

First, it’s important to note that it’s not really “things” that make a man fall in love and commit. “They’re traits — traits that you can develop in yourself,” Sabourin explains.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

1. The first trait is your high-value status: “It’s your job to present and project and create this perception that you have a high value,” the dating coach says. “And how you do that is to accept yourself.” Don’t turn over your significance to a man — your personal value needs to come from within. She adds, “Of course, any man who is looking for a woman to spend his life with wants a woman who has a high regard for herself.”

2. The second trait is vulnerability: You need to balance your strong sense of self-worth with vulnerability to avoid coming across as too masculine, aloof, or conceited. “You have to create a space of openness with a man so he can come in,” Sabourin says. “Vulnerability is really about sharing things about yourself, not being afraid to show who you really are.” Tell him things that will inspire him to take care of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Get Men to Fall Into Your Lap

What about a woman who thinks being vulnerable will make her appear weak? “Ladies, look at that, because that tells me you’re protecting your heart and you have a defense up,” Sabourin shares. “When you have a defense up, it’s like a wall, a fence, that keeps the love and relationship you want out.” There’s so much power in vulnerability: It shows that you love and accept yourself, that you’ve been hurt but that you’re open to something new.

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