On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss how to be a fantastic date for anyone and offer their best expert dating advice. Newman shares three ways to present your best self on a date — so listen up!

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

1. Act as if you already know him and be energetic: Start the conversation as you would with a best friend and simply ask him how his week has been or how he’s doing. “It shows that you’re interested in him as a whole person instead of the checklist items you have that you want to check off,” Newman explains. “And it has the conversation start so organically that it can go anywhere.” Oftentimes, if you zip your lips and just listen, he’ll open up quickly and let you get to know him right off the bat. Of being energetic, Oshima adds, “Enthusiasm attracts people — it brings them in.”

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2. Focus on broad questions: Avoid interview questions: Don’t ask him how many people he manages or how long he’s worked somewhere. Instead, ask questions like, “What do you love about your life?” or “What’s coming up that you’re really looking forward to?” “Ask really broad questions where he can go shallow or he can go deep,” the relationship author says. “And if the answer is ‘nothing’ to all of those questions, that’s really important information for you to have.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

3. Give him 30 seconds of silence: Be willing to be engaged in the conversation, but after he’s done talking, give him a little bit of time to see if he has anything else to add. “This is completely counterintuitive to women,” the relationship author shares. “Women are squirming in their seats after five seconds, but men’s brains are designed differently than our’s.” If you want him to say more, you have to give him a chance.

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