By Joshua Pompey

As someone who lives in New York City, I can say with full enthusiasm that it is one of the greatest cities in the world. The food! The culture! The diversity! And of course, the incredible women are right up there with any other city. Unfortunately, one aspect of city life often let’s women down though, and it affects their ability to forge meaningful relationships. And while it’s easy to claim that men in the city just don’t want to settle down, I’ve personally found that this is far from the case for most men I’ve worked with or encountered. Sometimes it’s just a matter of avoiding certain mistakes and making the right adjustments to find love. In this article I will be discussing four big reasons many women often struggle to find relationships in big cities, and dating advice to help you avoid these issues.

Dating advice that will benefit young women living in a city.


1. Not prioritizing: There is always a lot going on in a city. If you don’t get your priorities straight about what’s truly the most important thing to you, you will never find love. When I was single there were so many times I would attempt to arrange a date with a city girl, only to find out that she wasn’t free for another two weeks. Yoga class, the gym, and happy hours with friends took priority over their first date nights with me. This is a big mistake. There will always be another happy hour. There will always be another yoga class. Friends will always be around. But a great guy with the potential to form a meaningful connection? That doesn’t come around every day. Dating needs to be the priority if you are really serious about it.

2. Your career will not be emotionally there for you when you get old: A big part of the city mentality is often, “I’ll get into a relationship at age X, get married at age X, then have children at age X. In the meantime, I’ll just focus on my career.” This fictitious notion that you can time when you find love, get married, and have kids is completely misguided. Not to mention forcing these aspects of life can cause relationship problems. Having drive is a positive thing. But before you sacrifice your entire youth by prioritizing your career over your relationships, ask yourself, will your career be there for you one day as much as a loving partner?

Related Link: Dating Advice: 5 Online Dating Photos That Will Instantly Up Your Profile Game

3. The paradox of choice: The city life creates this illusion that there are millions of potential partners out there for you. Just sit on one city block and you’ll probably see hundreds of men walk by in one hour. Sometimes this creates a serial dating mentality. With so many men around, good isn’t good enough. Why settle for good when you could find perfect? Unfortunately, that perfect guy may have already been on a date with you, but you passed up on him because he didn’t blow your mind during the first date. Sometimes it takes time to build chemistry and realize how strong a potential suitor is. So my dating advice as a relationship expert is to be careful when dismissing men who don’t seem to be “perfect” matches just because you believe there might be someone better around the corner.

4. Not breaking out of your social circle: Even though there is always so much going on in big cities, sometimes we tend to fall into repetitive patterns of seeing the same people every day and going to the same places. Take advantage of the diversity and opportunities that cities provide by joining new clubs, going to new social groups, and meeting new people. The more people you meet from different walks of life, the more likely you’ll meet someone that you connect with.

For more online dating advice from Joshua Pompey, visit his website, or you can find free advice for women by visiting this page.