On the latest episode of the Single in Stilettos show, matchmaker and dating coach Suzanne Oshima talked dating advice with David Steele, a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach and founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute. Through his experience professionally and personally, Steele had an epiphany: “Singles become couples, that’s absolutely where we need to start.” 

Dating Advice On The Worst Dating Traps

The Scarcity Trap: The fear that there is not someone out there for you often takes the reins and drives you into an undesirable relationship and love. You then settle and find yourself in a state of greater unhappiness than before. Fear, desperation, and the need to survive in the dating world all set in. “We believe we have to settle for less or be all alone, that what we really want is not out there,” he explains. Steele’s expert dating advice is that what’s in your mind is destined to become reality, and it may not be the destiny you’re after.

Related Link: Dating Experts Give Dating Advice to Attract a High Quality Man

The Attraction Trap: The dating expert says that we may be attached to a lot of things: our favorite clothes, ice cream –especially after a relationship rough patch, I might add — and people. However, that does not necessarily mean we love them. Oftentimes, we mistake attraction and chemistry as love. “We tend to interpret these strong feelings as love — it’s meant to be — because we’re feeling it so strongly, so we really have to balance our heads with our hearts,” Steele says. When dating, we need to be clear about who we are, what we want, and what we need.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 7 Guys You’re Probably Not Going to Marry

The Rescue Trap: ‘I Need a Hero’ may have been a hit, but entering the dating realm with that mantra will be a fail almost every time, as per Steele’s relationship advice. When we are unhappy or struggling, we often think that a relationship or another person will solve all of our woes, yet this is the wrong reason to choose a relationship. “If we’re not happy, we’re going to attract more unhappiness in our life,” Steele says. “Success breeds success, and misery loves company.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Top 4 Places to Meet Mr. Right

On a very real note, relationship expert Steele adds, “A relationship won’t solve all your problems. It won’t cure your depression. It won’t make you happy all by itself. You’re just basically going to get more of what you already have that you don’t want.” And this is why you must find your own happiness before looking for it in others! 

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What’s your best piece of love advice for avoiding dating traps? Share with us in the comments below!