By Sujeiry Gonzalez
We’ve all had our share of bad dates. Even gorgeous celebrities like Katherine Heigl have dished on terrible romantic encounters. She admitted to once having an awkward date with a personal trainer, who not only gave her his headshot, but also shaved his legs. Total turn off!
My latest bad date was with a Miami artist who was new to New York City. I met him at Bryant Park and demanded dinner, as opposed to sitting on a bench with a basket of fruit. He obliged, and we ended up at BBQ’s in Times Square. As he discussed his career goals in a monotone voice (I thought I was on a date with Ferris Bueller’s English teacher), I realized I was on yet another bad date.
So, what can we do in this common situation? For my survival, I decided to find the funny in the ever present bad date. Here’s how you can, too:
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1. Imagine yourself on a deserted island.
If you picture this, you can appreciate your date’s company even when he chews with his mouth open. Besides, wouldn’t you rather have someone to laugh at with than be alone?
2. Chow down as if you’re with a girlfriend.
You don’t need to impress a bad date, so why not unbutton your jeans and order a real meal? On my date with Miami Monotone Man, I ordered a quarter chicken, French fries and a piece of warm cornbread. Leave the salad for the one you want to impress!
3. Drink yourself into a tizzy.
Drinking will make your date seem funnier, hotter and much more pleasant. When he slurps his soda, slurp your drink. When he picks up his cell phone to text, take a shot. It’s like your very own drinking game! That said, don’t let it get too out of control. Bad decisions, anyone?
4. Make a mental list of things to tell your friends.
This won’t be difficult when you’re on a bad date. Just make sure to jot down what’s funny. You could focus on the bad, but that’s less challenging. Plus, what fun is that?
5. Test out different dating techniques on your bad date.
You’re already out, so why not use him like a guinea pig? You can flirt in different ways or ask questions you wouldn’t dare ask a man you want to impress. This experiment can be a fun twist to a dud of a night.
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Next time you’re on a bad date, remember that it’s supposed to be fun even when you’re not hitting it off. Try these tips and have a laugh while you’re out with Ferris Bueller’s English teacher.
Sujeiry Gonzalez, often referred to as the “Latina Carrie Bradshaw,” is a funny and vibrant relationship (non)expert that tells it like it is — with just add a little more sass, a lot more Bacardi and ton of laughs. Recently she penned her first book, Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles, a poignant and witty collection of personal essays in which she chronicles her relationship stumbles. For more information on Sujeiry Gonzalez, visit lovesujeiry.com or lovetripsbook.com.
