By Jane Greer, PhD for GalTime.com
It isn’t surprising that everyone is talking about Angelina Jolie’s recent celebrity news of her preventative double mastectomy. The news sparked conversations about the procedure itself and the decision to go public, but I want to talk about her rock-solid support system. In a New York Times op-ed piece she wrote, “I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive.” She mentioned her celebrity love was present for all of her medical procedures and surgeries at the Pink Lotus Breast Center. He has, in turn, recently called her decision to have the radical procedure and be public about it, “absolutely heroic.”
While It Seems That Pitt Agreed With His Celebrity Love’s Choice, That Isn’t Always The Case. Does That Mean a Relationship Is Destined To Fail?
Related: Relationship Advice: Why Are Women Attracted to Unavailable Men?
Sometimes a spouse or partner has a harder time accepting the other’s decision to have a procedure whether it be preventative, corrective, or plastic surgery. They might feel the timing isn’t right or the surgery isn’t necessary. In order to be supportive and give unconditional love, a partner might have to put his own needs and judgments aside the way Pitt has clearly done.
What To Do In Your Relationship and Love When Your Partner Is Having A Surgery
That might require some work on your part if you are the one offering the support. Being there for your partner in a relationship and love not only means in a hands-on physical way, but also an emotional one. There is no question that this sort of thing can be very disruptive. Say, for example, that you both usually share the responsibilities of the household — you take out the trash and walk the dog, and he/she cooks and gets the kids off to school. Now, as your partner recovers, it is likely that all those tasks might fall to you. On an emotional level, the person who had the surgery might be irritable, upset, short-tempered and, at times, reactive and even lash out at you. If you can remember that your partner may be feeling vulnerable, helpless and out of control, it might help you understand where she/he is coming from, and then you won’t take it personally and get into arguments. Realizing the distress doesn’t stem from you can go a long way in helping you navigate the terrain of a caregiver and help you remain supportive throughout.
Related: Relationship Advice: When to Stop Wearing Your Wedding Ring
Know that the upheaval and distress will be time-limited and your recovering partner will get better. Things in the relationship and love will go back to normal at some point — hopefully soon. Remind yourself that, in the end, this will be better for everyone. Remaining positive during the recovery period will be good for both of you and get you through it with greater ease. Pitt’s words and support for his celebrity love are an excellent example of what to do if you find yourself in a similar situation. The Hollywood couple seems to have their priorities in place as they do what they must to build a long and healthy life together. With that goal in mind, being supportive is easier.
