By Jared Sais
The episode last night was very insightful. Before you read this post and the non-verbal communication cues that I saw on last night’s episode, I want to clarify that I am a fan of Desiree! I know it may not seem that way given what I am observing, but I am just calling it what it is from my years of training in body language. Please note, that I like Desiree a lot! My head is shaking “yes” and my hands and feet are NOT crossed! So on to the analysis:
Last night, I focused on three specific competitors as I was watching the show, these were the guys that caught my attention when it came to reading their physical cues. I think you would agree:
Ben
If you read my first post, I was a bit iffy on Ben using his kid to get an advantage with Desiree. Though brilliant, I thought it was sneaky when it came to playing this dating game. It appears that my first impression was correct! I am not saying that Ben is a bad guy. What I’m saying is that he’s sneaky. I feel that he’s looking at this as a competition and game. He might be genuine when it comes to winning Desiree’s heart but, in doing so, he will play all angles and win at any cost.
One thing is for sure, he will need to change up his approach soon. This means that he can’t use his kid anymore. “Why,” you may ask am I saying that? Well, though Ben’s kid came to the rescue again in this episode, I noticed that Desiree pulled back a bit. Desiree showed signs that she was open to the idea that he had a kid but pulling out this card every time is going to hurt him.
It’s simple, “If I say ‘yes’ but I shake my head ‘no,’ this should send a signal to you that I am not being honest, as my body is contradicting my words.” When Desiree said, “I am very open” –referring to the idea of Ben having a child–her body language was very closed off. Her hands, though under a blanket, were interlocked and her body was pulled in tight. Though Desiree is always cold, I have studied her body language enough to determine when she’s cold vs. when she is defensive and not open to the situation. I know for a fact that if Ben keeps talking more about his kid, Desiree will soon find issue with it. Right now it’s cute, but soon reality will sink in and Desiree will be turned off. For Ben to make it to my top 5, he has to make himself a bachelor and move away from being labeled as the single father.
Related: Bachelorette 9, Episode 1: The Animal Kingdom
Additionally, Desiree said about Ben’s son, “he is your love and your joy.” Then she pinched her lips, which usually is a sign of anger or disapproval. She also disconnected her eye contact, meaning she lost some interest in what he was saying on the topic. Finally, she rolled her eyes. All of this equals anger or jealousy. Her nonverbal language stated that she wants to be the love, the joy of the man she chooses to be with for the rest of her life. She wants to be the center of attention, not number two. And for a young girl, I think that’s more than fair. Right now, Desiree hasn’t come to grasp the reality surrounding the responsibility of entering a relationship with a man that she won’t really get to know as well as she should when marrying someone with a child. Not to mention that she will have to be the stepmom of his child which creates a lot of added responsibility. This is probably more than she bargained for initially. Ben knows that he is playing a different ball game and it is most likely why he is playing dirty and pulling out all the stops to keep this reality from Desiree.
Desiree will eliminate Ben but it won’t be for another few episodes.
Bryden
From ever lasting smiles to their double arm hold, you might think he’s your pick to be Desiree’s husband! But, I noticed that he wasn’t fully enjoying himself. He was a bit disconnected at times and not willing to commit. In fact, the big nonverbal cue that gave me the impression he was not feeling Desiree (and I will go as far as saying he might have a girlfriend back at home) was during the pool scene. Bryden’s arm was relaxing on the side of the pool as his forearm came right in-between him and Desiree, he was creating space and putting up a barrier. What probably seemed to come off as shy, came off to me as defensive and pulling back. Bryden seemed to show contempt when speaking to Desiree, telling me he wasn’t feeling it as much as he was trying to portray. Also, he showed a lot of fake smiles, meaning he would smile only with half of his face, usually the mouth region.
From my past articles, I have written about the difference between a genuine smile and a fake smile, but an easy way to know the difference between the two is by thinking of a forced smile when taking a picture. You smile with only your mouth, but when you really find something funny or are really happy, you smile with your entire face, mouth, cheeks and eyes. So when Bryden was only smiling with his mouth, I knew he was faking this emotion. Finally, I think Desiree likes him more then he likes her. I am looking forward to seeing how this plays out, all I know is that he is not into her as of now. Feelings can change and you can start to like someone more as time goes on but I just don’t think this is the case with him. I just don’t see him going to the end.
Related: Desiree Hartsock is the New ‘Bachelorette!”
Brooks
The second guy that I am picking for my top 5 is Brooks! My first was Drew. I think both of them will easily make it to the hometown episodes, though I don’t have the other picks just yet. Let’s talk about Brooks…
There were long looks of passion and genuine smiles. Both were sincerely laughing and having so much fun. What really popped out to me was the double kiss. That’s something people who have been in relationships for a long time tend to do, not something you see on a first date. This was a very telling sign to me, as it should be to anyone reading this column.
If Brooks is just himself and the genuine, caring man he has portrayed to be so far, he will be Desiree’s husband. I know this is a wild prediction as it is so early in the season but they held each other like they were soulmates and looked into each others eyes like they never wanted to look anywhere else. They danced the same way and the vibe was totally different with them than anyone else so far. Yes, I know, “so far,” but I have been studying flirtation for about a decade now and I know when something is real, and this was 100% real and passionate and, most importantly, telling. They showed their hands and I am sure Brooks will be in the top 5 if not her husband by the end of the show.
Here is a side nonverbal fun fact on tonight’s episode. When Desiree was “lost” driving, I knew she wasn’t really scared or lost. The nonverbal micro expression of being scared includes:
– eyebrows raise
– eyes widened
– lips stretch back towards the ears
Desiree did a micro expression of fear in episode one when interacting with the guy who kept wanting to take her to the room alone. So, When I didn’t see any of these signals of her being scared, I knew she knew exactly what she was doing and where she was going.
Let me know your thoughts, on what men you like so far and who you think will be Desiree’s future husband.
