Dating Advice Q&A: Is It Ever Okay To Go Through Your Partner’s Phone?

Question from Carrie F.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year, and lately, I’ve been worried that he’s talking to an ex behind my back. Is it okay if I look for proof on his phone before I confront him? I don’t want to say anything to him unless I’m 100 percent sure.

If you’re looking for dating advice about whether or not it’s ever okay to go through your partner’s phone, keep reading to find out what our relationship experts advise!

Dating Advice About Going Through His Phone

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: While no one wants to find out that their boyfriend is still talking to his ex, a sure-fire way to kill your relationship is with your insecurity. If you think he’s still talking to his ex, ask him in a curious and non-confrontational way. Then, watch his reaction. If he doesn’t have anything to hide, he may mention that he keeps in touch with her in a non-romantic way. If there is something going on, he’ll probably get defensive and try to cover things up. Either way, if you want the relationship to last, it’s important to be able to trust each other and have open communication.

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: After a year of dating, you and your partner should be able to communicate truthfully and openly, so if you’re feeling uncomfortable about him keeping in touch with his ex, talk to him. Snooping in his phone might make it worse, as he may get defensive and angry, which will put you both in a bad spot. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking with him, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and see if it’s worth the confrontation.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: The answer is no. Successful relationships are built on trust, honesty, and clear communication. Snooping in a partner’s phone is a breach of trust on your part. I doubt you would approve of his perusing your personal correspondence behind your back! If for some reason you’re concerned that your guy is still in touch with his ex, just ask him. You will get a response. Then, you can decide if what he says is acceptable or if a deeper conversation about your relationship and expectations from one another is necessary. Above all, approach the process from a position of respect for your partner, your relationship, and, most importantly, yourself.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

What’s your best piece of dating advice when it comes to going through your partner’s phone? Share in the comments below!

Dating Advice Q&A: What Does Texting On A Date Say To Your Partner?

Question from Julia Y.: Because of my job, it’s important that I always keep my phone handy so I can be available in case there’s an emergency. Will a new guy get the wrong impression if I text during a date?

If you’re looking for dating advice on what texting on a date says to your partner, then keep reading to see what our relationship experts had to say!

Dating Advice On Texting On A Date

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: Texting or taking a phone call during a date is a big “no, no!” because it sends the wrong message to the person you’re out with. He may think that you’re really not that interested in him or that you’re texting another guy. That being said, the only exception to the rule is if there’s an emergency. Here’s my love advice: A good way to avoid him thinking the wrong thing, is to tell him up front that you usually don’t text on dates, but because of the nature of your job sometimes emergencies come up and you may need to handle it while you’re on the date. He will most likely be understanding, but you should really try to avoid this from happening on a regular basis, otherwise he’ll probably start to get annoyed and lose interest in you.

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: It’s a little rude to be glued to your phone during a date and will definitely give off a bad impression. But if you absolutely must respond for a work emergency, just make sure you tell your date that it is an emergency. Also, make sure to step out, so that he’s not just uncomfortably staring at you while you text! It’s the 21st century, we all understand if a message just can’t wait.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: When dating someone new, it’s important to make the person sitting across the table feel special. That means giving them your undivided attention. My dating advice is if you’re on a date and expecting an important call from a client or your boss, let your date know. We’ve all been there. Then discreetly place your phone off to the side and have fun. If your job keeps you in a perpetual emergency mode where you can never disconnect from the office, it’s says something about your choices. Your career is important, but so is your relationship and love life. And guess what? You can have it all if you prioritize your needs and balance your work and personal life.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

What do you think texting on a date says to a partner? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Dating Advice Q&A: How Harmless Is Sending Pictures Via Text?

Question from Carolynn R.: I’ve been texting this guy, and he’s really nice, but he keeps asking me for pictures — not nude pictures, just pictures. It seems a bit weird to me, and I don’t know if this means he’s going to ask for more revealing ones in the future. Am I just being paranoid, or is this as weird as I think it is?

Keep reading to see what dating advice the relationship experts had for Carolynn!

Dating Advice: When Is It Okay To Send Pictures?

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: If you don’t feel comfortable sending him photos via text, then just tell him to friend you on Facebook where there are a lot of great photos of you. If he still keeps pressuring you to send photos and he takes it one step further where he asks you to send him nude photos of yourself, then just remember you have choice. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do. No matter how nice he is, if he keeps up the pressure to send nude photos, my dating advice is to move on, because it’s obvious he’s only interested in one thing.

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: When a guy asks you to send him photos of you, revealing or not, you should know that he’s very interested in your looks and maybe only your looks. If a guy asks for one or two photos of you, it may be his harmless way of wanting to put a face to the person texting him. If he is constantly asking for photos of you, he may only be interested in your looks instead of forming a relationship and love. If you really like him, my relationship advice is to tell him to add you on Facebook and creep on photos there!

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Without knowing for sure the kind of photos your guy is asking for, my guess is that he is most likely seeking provocative pics of you, not the ones you share on Facebook and Instagram. If so, you need to decide if this is something you’re comfortable with. In the interim, I suggest spending more actual face time with him versus FaceTime, to get a better sense of his true character and intentions. If he is more interested in photos of you than being with you, that, of course is a problem and reason to move on. Good luck.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Do you think it’s appropriate to send pictures via text? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Tell My Friend She Shares Too Much About Her Relationship And Love On Instagram?

Question from Mary Kate K.: I have a friend that has been dating this guy for almost 2 years. It seems like every other day she’s uploading a picture of the two of them with some caption like, “the love of my life and I enjoying dinner at our favorite restaurant” or “look at the flowers my boyfriend gave me after a hard day!” I’m happy for her…but I’m also sick to my stomach. How do I nicely tell her to tone it down?

Read on to see the relationship experts dating advice!

Dating Advice: How To Deal With Too Much PDA

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: While it can be annoying when a friend posts too much about their relationship and love on social media, it’s not really your place to tell your friend how much she should or shouldn’t post on Instagram. I think the bigger issue is, you really need to ask yourself why it really bothers you so much? Her posts aren’t vulgar or offensive by any means, however if her posts are making you physically sick to your stomach, then you have a choice to follow or unfollow her. If you follow her, then just be a good friend and be truly happy for her. And if you can’t be happy for her, my love advice is to stop following her.

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: Telling someone to stop posting about their relationship is a conversation that will never end well and will also make you seem a bit jealous. Simply unfollow her on so you don’t see her posts unless you search for them. Telling someone to tone down their happiness online will make you seem unsupportive of their relationship and stir up trouble.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: For whatever reason, you’d prefer not to see your friend’s parade of Instagram posts with her boyfriend of almost two years. Here is an easy solution: My dating advice is to stop following her on Instagram. It’s not appropriate to ask her to stop posting what makes her happy. After all, it’s her account. The question you might ask yourself is why. Are you being good friend and concerned about the guy, fear your friend is setting herself up for an embarrassing fail on social media? Or could you be a tad jealous of her good fortune? Ouch. In our Kardashian world where anything and everything is exposed on social media, I’m not feeling why your friend’s Insta-bragging is such an issue. Respect and good luck, Mary Kate.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Do you think it’s appropriate to tell a friend to tone down the PDA on her social media accounts? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Dating Experts Reveal 5 Things You Need To Know About Men

On this week’s Single in Stilettos relationship advice video, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and dating expert Robert Manni reveal the five things women need to know about men when they’re dating!

Dating Expert Reveals Relationship Advice: 5 Things You Need To Know About Men

1. Men are sexually wired. They think about sex a lot. But, the dating experts say just because he thinks of it, doesn’t mean that’s his only intent.

2. What you see is what you get. Men say what they think and are straightforward. You can tell a lot by his demeanor, sense of humor, and how he dresses. Unless he’s a player. The experts relationship advice is to sort through the players and genuine guys.

3. Patronizing women. A lot of men tell women what they want to hear, with sex in mind. Women have to be careful and sort out if what they’re hearing is true.

4. Men are driven by fear and ego. Men are competitive with each other and are ultimately loners. They don’t confide in each other and are left to sort things out on their own. Men have a fear of losing rather than the desire to win.

5. Men want a solid relationship and love. They are looking for something reliable. Men want a woman who is attractive and a friend they can confide in.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

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What do you think women need to know about men? Tell us in the comments below!

Relationship Experts Q&A: Does Social Media Stalking Create False Intimacy?

Question from Anna C.: I’ve had a crush on my neighbor for a while, and he finally asked me out on a date! Since we’ve lived near each other for nearly a year, we’re already friends on Facebook. Of course, I’ve looked at his profile in that time, and I feel like I really know him. On our date, is it okay to bring up something I saw on his profile, or should I avoid mentioning anything I’ve learned from social media stalking?

Read on to see the relationship experts dating advice!

Relationship Experts Share Dating Advice On Social Media Stalking

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: If it was something that you saw on his profile awhile back, then I would avoid bringing it up. He’ll know that you’ve been snooping around his Facebook page and it could raise an “eyebrow” in his mind. As a relationship expert, I tell my clients that you never want to appear like you’re more interested in him than he is in you. So, just play it cool on the first date and have fun. As you go out on more dates and you get to know him better, then it would be okay to bring up something you saw on his profile because then it would be more appropriate.

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: It’s absolutely okay to mention something you saw on your dates Facebook profile on the first date! It’s a good way to connect and create a comfortable conversation. But you’ve got to make sure you say you saw it on their profile. If you say, “Hey, I saw that funny video on your page last week with the cats!” it can start a conversation, but if you say “I think cats are so funny!” it might get a little weird. Guys can get creeped out if you try to hide the fact that you looked at their social media. Honestly, that seems a little more stalker-ish, like you’re secretly watching them. If you’re open about seeing things on their profile, they’re more inclined to feel flattered that you took an interest in their stuff!

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Since you were neighbors and had connected offline prior to dating, I suggest leaving Facebook behind for now. Checking his profile now and then is understandable, but as you know, social media posts can lead to assumptions and misconceptions. If I were you, my love advice is to consider yourself lucky to be dating someone that interested you from afar. That’s a great start. Now it’s time focus on building a relationship and love face to face, and hopefully cheek to cheek.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Do you think social media stalking creates false intimacy? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Expert Dating Advice: How to Make a Relationship and Love Work

On this week’s Single in Stilettos relationship advice video, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to dating expert and Robert Manni about how to make a relationship and love work.

Dating Expert Robert Manni Reveals How to Keep Your Relationship and Love Strong

Here are five pieces of expert dating advice to follow if you want a strong relationship and love:

1. Pay attention: As Manni explains, “Guys are not that good at paying attention, and women pay attention to everything.” If you want to keep your partner happy, be mindful to their needs.

2. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt: People are very quick to point out if something’s not completely right, but a lot of times, there’s a rationale behind people’s behavior. Don’t jump to conclusions!

3. Have shared values: “A couple can be opposites, but it’s the values that count — they need to sync up,” the dating expert says. For instance, two people need the same viewpoint on money, trust, and family, which often goes back to how they were raised.

4. Communicate: It’s important that neither person shuts down when it comes to communication. Really listen and hear where the other person is coming from. “It’s very important that women don’t expect men to read their minds and that men are willing to engage about an issue,” Manni shares. “Both women and men have to meet each other halfway.”

5. Always keep dating: It’s easy to get comfortable and unintentionally take things for granted. “I’m guilty of that all the time,” the relationship author of The Guy’s Guys Guide to Love admits. “You have to keep the mindset — and the heartset — that the person you’re with is somebody that you’re constantly wooing.”

For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

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Love Advice Q&A: How Do I Show My Interest In Someone Online?

Question from Carrie K.: When I first meet a nice guy and we become friends on Facebook, I always try to think of a way to show him I might be interested. Is there a way to subtly do so without looking like a stalker or totally desperate?

Read on for love advice from our dating experts!

Relationship Experts Share Dating Advice About Showing Interest On Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to Facebook, there’s a fine line between showing interest and coming across as a stalker. Obviously, you can like and comment on his posts, but my love advice is to not do so too much. If you go overboard, you’ll be seen as someone who has a little too much interest in his life and no life of your own. So my expert dating advice is to be selective about what you comment on and like. Then, at some point, after you’ve been friends for awhile, try to initiate a conversation over the private messaging feature on Facebook. Once the conversation takes off, add in a little innocent flirting and see where it goes. Soon, he may ask you out on a date, and you can get offline and meet up in person!

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: I know that everyone likes to fluff up their Facebook profile to encourage some new sparks. There’s just a right and wrong way to do it. Most importantly, don’t ever pretend that you’re seriously interested in something you’ve never even heard of because this new guy seems into it. That can lead to some awkward conversations when he starts asking you about it. You can absolutely expand your interests though. Let’s say you like being outdoors, for example. Just because your version of “being outdoors” is drinking wine and eating cheese at the closest park instead of hiking three miles every weekend doesn’t mean it’s a lie. You can also message him if you see something cool on his profile, like, “I loved that video you just posted — do you rock climb?” It can give you guys something to talk about and is a good way to further the conversation beyond a confirmed friend request.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: The dating game is thriving in the digital world, but if you want to win, get offline as quickly as possible. Most guys are not that savvy when it comes to reading between the lines of texts or e-mails, so as a relationship expert, I suggest you stay cool, but be clear about your intentions. A good way to take the connection offline is through finding common ground with a new connection. For example, you love margaritas, and he considers himself an expert on tequila. Bueno! Find a cool and conveniently located Mexican restaurant or bar that carries the good stuff and suggest meeting up to sample their Maestro Dobel reposado, don Julio 1942, or 7 Leguas Tequila Anejo. If you conduct a bit of research on something you both enjoy, most guys will appreciate the effort. And in this case, he’ll think you’re someone who has great taste in men and spirits.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

How would you show someone you’re interested via Facebook? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Handle My Partner’s Family On Facebook?

Question from Catherine A.: My boyfriend’s siblings and parents recently friend-requested me on Facebook. I don’t have anything bad on there, but I’m still worried. Should I accept their friend requests? Would it be worse not to? What if we break up?

Keep reading for dating advice from our relationship experts!

Relationship Experts Give Dating Advice About Your Partner’s Family and Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: If you don’t accept their friend requests, it’ll be very awkward every time you see them. Since you don’t have anything bad on Facebook, then you have nothing to worry about. Also, if you’re really concerned, then my dating advice would be to limit what they see in your news feed through your settings. And right now, I really wouldn’t worry about you and your boyfriend breaking up. Don’t be concerned about something that may never happen!

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: Absolutely accept those friend requests! Whenever they try to reach out to you, especially online, it’s a great opportunity to show that you want to be involved with his family. Also, by giving them access to your profile, you give them a way to get to know you more, especially if you don’t get to spend much time with them. With Facebook, you also have the ability to spruce up your profile to make a good impression. Consider this love advice: Accepting your boyfriend’s family on Facebook can really benefit your relationship and love! If you end up breaking up, then delete him and his family. Even if they get offended, what’s the harm? You’re already broken up!

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Great question. Your decision depends on your relationship with your boyfriend. If you’re in a committed relationship where you’ve met and established a connection with his family, there’s no reason not to accept their requests. If things don’t work out, you can always unfriend them. However, if this is a relatively new situation and you’re unsure about your feelings, then it’s your prerogative to simply ignore their requests. The fact that you mentioned that more than one member of his family sent you a request leads me to believe that you are in a real relationship and should act accordingly. Ultimately, your Facebook page is your turf, and you can accept or keep out anyone you choose. Good luck.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Would you accept your partner’s family friend requests? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Relationship Experts Reveal 5 Ways To Survive A First Date

On this week’s dating advice video from Single in Stilettos, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni give us five ways to survive a first date. Check out what these relationship experts have to say!

Dating Advice Video: Best First Dates Tips For Women

1. Make a good first impression: These relationship experts remind us that you only get one chance to make a great first impression. Within three seconds of meeting you, a man will decide whether or not he wants to see you again, so make those three seconds count!

Related Link: Dating Experts Give First Date Tips

2. Don’t show up late: If you aren’t punctual, then you’re telling your date that you don’t respect their time. If you’re running late, make sure to send a text at least 10 minutes before you’re supposed to be there, just to be courteous.

3. Don’t drink too much: Men hate it when a woman gets too “sloppy” on a date and can’t handle whatever amount of alcohol she drinks. After all, no one wants to date a lush!

4. Have an exit strategy: He’s nice, but you aren’t feeling it. If that’s the case, don’t waste your time — or his. Be polite and tell him that you think he’s great, but there just isn’t a connection. Most of the time, he’ll appreciate your honesty.

5. Don’t have sex with him: Can you have sex with a man on a first date? Sure. But will it work out? Highly unlikely. Men can have sex with anyone with no emotional connection, so if you’re just looking for sex, then go ahead. But if you want a relationship and love, then you should wait!

If you follow these first date tips, you’re more likely to succeed at getting a second date…and a third date and a fourth date!

For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

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What is your best first date tip? Tell us in the comments below!

Expert Love Advice Q&A: When Do I Send A Friend Request After A First Date?

Question from Mandy G.: I went on a first date with a great guy this weekend, but we didn’t make plans to see each other again. I want to connect with him on Facebook without seeming overeager. How soon can I send him a friend request?

Keep reading for expert love advice from our relationship experts!

Relationship Experts Discuss Facebook Friend Requests

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: My expert love advice is that sending a Facebook friend request after a first date is way too soon. When you send it prematurely, you run the risk of it being ignored, which will put you in an awkward situation. If he ignores your request, you may think he’s not interested in you. But what it may really mean is that he’s not ready to let you in to snoop through his personal life after just one date. Let’s be honest: The first thing you will do is go through all his photos and posts to try to figure out what’s up with his relationship and love life and if he’s dating anyone else! There’s plenty of time to get to know him digitally, so wait until several dates in to send that friend request. Otherwise, you may find yourself un-friended from a guy that you just met!

Paige Wyatt, Reality TV Star: Sending a new guy a friend request on Facebook is a lot simpler than you think. First, you must do a quick sweep of your own page. Make sure there’s nothing embarrassing or off-putting posted on there. Don’t forget to check your tagged photos! Then, send him a request. If he accepts within minutes (as people often do, thanks to the Facebook app), send him a quick message, something short and sweet to let him know you had a great time on your date. If he doesn’t accept your request for a few days, don’t automatically assume he’s ignoring you. He may not be an avid Facebook user, and in that case, it’s better to stay connected via text message instead.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Although there is nothing wrong with sending him a friend request, look at the bigger picture. You just went on a date with this guy, and it sounds like you want to see him again. Although there are no set rules, ending a date without plans to reconnect is usually not a great sign. Consider this dating advice: If this guy wants to see you again, he will reach out soon. Adding him as a Facebook friend is a nice gesture, but I doubt it will do anything to stoke the romantic fires.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

How soon would you send a friend request after a first date? Share your love advice with us in the comments below!

Improve Your Chances of Finding Love, Thanks to This Relationship Advice Video!

Relationship advice video, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Robert Manni about how to improve your chances of finding love.

Relationship Advice Video Gives Tips On Finding Love

We all know that finding someone special isn’t easy. If it were, then everyone would be in love, right? In this relationship advice video, these dating experts agree that, with these four tips, your chances of finding a relationship and love will increase.

1. Put the gadgets away: Your cell phone, computer, or tablet is creating a barrier between you and any man that wants to meet you. By holding your phone or looking at your laptop in a coffee shop, it seems like you’re busy and don’t want to be bothered.

2. Pay attention: It’s important to pay attention and be fully present. Notice the men around you and be open to meeting them organically.

3. Get real: Be realistic and clear about who you are and what you’re looking for. Once you know what you want, don’t focus on a long list of “must haves.” If you do, you’ll be single for a long time!

4. Reach out: If you had a great time, it’s important to acknowledge and follow-up after the first date. Be available and don’t wait too long to schedule the second date. You don’t want him to lose interest.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

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Dating Advice Q&A: Can I Blog About My Relationship and Love Life?

Question from Jenny T.: I have a lifestyle blog where I constantly post updates about my friendships, favorite fashion, recipes, and occasionally my love life. I started dating a new guy about two weeks ago. Can I blog about our dates and how I feel about him, or is it too soon to share those details about our relationship?

Read on for dating advice from our relationship experts!

Dating Advice from Our Relationship Experts

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: One sure fire way to make a guy disappear without a trace is to start blogging about your dates and how you feel about him when you’re just two weeks into dating. It doesn’t matter if you don’t use his real name, no man wants to feel like everything he does or says on a date will be exposed for the whole world to see.

When you launched your lifestyle blog, you signed on to blog about your personal life and everything that goes on with it. But he didn’t sign on to have his personal life exposed too. So, my suggestion is for you to cool it with TMI about your relationship and love life on your blog, otherwise you won’t have any dates to blog about.

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: Sharing intimate details about your relationship and love life with a new guy should be more discrete than cooking tips or fashion advice. Posting details about dates can make a guy uncomfortable, especially early in the dating process. Guys tend to keep their romantic lives to themselves, because they don’t have the desire to share details and experiences like women do.

Typically they wouldn’t mind you chatting with your girlfriends about your relationship, but posting things about the dates online can feel invasive to guys. This can be especially true if they learn how you feel about the dates or relationship by reading it online instead of you sharing it with them personally. It would be appropriate to post things less intimate, such as “great date night restaurants”, or “fun date night outfits”, but keep the personal details about your new relationship close.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Good writing requires guts and honesty, but in this case, I suggest a cautious approach. It’s one thing to look back and provide insights from lessons learned from past relationships. But providing readers blow-by-blow details after only two weeks creates unnecessary pressure on the writer, her guy, and their possibility of succeeding as a couple. Would you want your audience to know all the details of your latest love interest as it’s happening? I’d say, probably not.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Would you blog about your relationship and love life? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Relationship Advice Video: Three Things Women Don’t Know About Men

On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to dating expert and relationship author Robert Manni about what women don’t know about men.

Dating Expert Reveals What Women Don’t Know About Men

According to this relationship advice video, there are three things that women don’t know about men. First, men are not that complicated. The dating expert says that they are very simple creatures — what you see is what you get! Second, they don’t pay attention. They’re consumed with their own lives and often forget to focus on the details of their relationship. If you want him to open up, you have to ease him into it; otherwise, you might scare him away. And finally, men aren’t mind readers. If you feel a certain way, you need to tell him because he probably won’t figure it out on his own. Armed with this love advice, you’ll be ready for your next date!

For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

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Anything else women don’t know about men? Tell us in the comments below!

Love Advice Q&A: Is It Weird That My Man Always Texts Instead of Calling?

Question from Elissa B.: I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now, and anytime we’re not together, he always texts me and never calls. Whether he’s seeing how my day is going or we’re trying to arrange our plans for the weekend, he only texts. What does this behavior say about our relationship and about him?

Read on for love advice from our dating experts!

Love Advice: What to Do If a Guy Only Texts

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: Thanks to the ever-present use of technology, unfortunately, texting has become the norm with the way a lot of people communicate. That being said, it doesn’t make it acceptable that he communicates with you solely in this manner. The issue is you’ve already set the standard for what’s an acceptable way to reach out to you. So it’s going to be harder to break him of this habit…but it’s clearly not impossible!

Next time, he texts you to plan a date, reply with something like, “Great! I’m tied up right now, so give me a call later and we can make a plan.” Or if you’re so bold, instead of texting him back, you can just pick up the phone and call him. It may take a few tries to get him on the phone, but don’t give up!

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: Most guys prefer to send a text rather than pick up the phone and talk. Women like to chat, but men want to get straight to the point. In that case, it’s about his personal preference and isn’t a reflection of your relationship or his feelings for you.

If he doesn’t answer your calls though, that’s a different story. There’s a chance he’s just busy. However, if he immediately send you a text with some strange excuse about why he can’t call, that’s a red flag. Be honest with him about your feelings and just tell him it would mean a lot to you if he’d call you every once a while. Give him the chance to explain himself, but if it seems fishy, he might not be a very honest guy — and definitely not the guy for you.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: When it comes to dating, technology can be our friend or foe. Sure, a guy can score dates while sitting at home in his tighty-whiteys. While this man’s over-reliance on texting is expedient, it lacks intimacy — and that’s a real issue. Maybe he’s busy, but don’t let his dependence on texting dominant the relationship’s lines of communication. You’re worth more than that. To build a relationship, men and women have to be at their best, and that means communicating in a real way. Follow this love advice: Insist that he calls the next time he wants to see you and be willing to stick to your guns if he falls back into this lazy behavior.

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How do you handle a partner who always texts instead of calls? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Dating Advice Q&A: Is It Appropriate to Play Hard to Get Via Texting?

Question from Kaitlin B.: It sounds silly, but I think a lot about my texts before I send them to a guy I’ve just met. When and how do I play hard to get while texting? What things should I consider before pressing send?

Read on to find out what our relationship experts think!

Dating Advice from Our Relationship Experts

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: I think it’s interesting that you prefaced your question with “it sounds silly”…and the reason why I bring that up is because I think deep down you know this is completely silly! You’re thinking way too much about what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to texting a guy, which is probably taking all the fun out of the beginning stages of dating and just getting to know him.

If a guy really likes you, whatever you write in a text is very rarely going to change how he feels. However, if you play too many games and play hard to get, you’re more likely to lose him than to get into a relationship with him. Here’s my best dating advice: Stop thinking too much about what/how/when to text him and just go with the flow. You might win him over by being yourself!

Related Link: Is It Okay If My Boyfriend Texts His Ex?

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: It’s very easy to overthink when it comes to texting someone you’ve just met. It’s important to note that you don’t always have to play hard to get. Sometimes, it’s better to just act like yourself and reply back without too much thought. If you feel like you need to do a little more to keep this person interested, don’t reply back right away; it can be enticing if you don’t seem too available. You don’t want them to think they don’t have a chance with you, but you can let them know that you have your own life and that you’re a busy girl.

If you still want to play hard to get, don’t be too cold. Remember that it’s called “hard to get,” not “never get!” My best dating advice is to make sure they know you’re in demand but that you’re also willing to make time to see or talk to them.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: The most important consideration is if texting is the best way to play hard to get. The written word, particularly emails and texts, can be easily misinterpreted. Playing a finesse game like “hard to get” can be challenging when the playing field is limited to a few brief words and phrases. If setting the hook and making a real connection is your goal, I suggest a phone call or, better yet, meeting up in person. Remember that guys are visual. There is no better way to make a man want to see you more than by looking into his eyes and smiling.

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How do you play hard to get when texting a new guy? Share your dating advice with us in the comments below!

Single in Stilettos Show: How to Talk About Being Exclusive with Your Partner

On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder Suzanne Oshima and dating coach Robert Manni discuss how to talk about being exclusive with your beau. The author of The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Love shares five important things to remember when you bring up this subject: make sure it’s a good time to have a serious conversation; do it in person; let him know it means a lot to you; never give him an ultimatum; and remember that it’s about what you both want.

Related Link: Robert Manni on How to Get a Second Date

Ultimately, it’s a conversation between the two of you. Although you may be focused on sharing your feelings with your partner, be sure to listen to him in return. Pay attention to how he responds. If he says he’s just not ready, respect his wishes and be patient. However, if he says he doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, it may be time to move on.

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What’s your best tip for talking about being exclusive with your partner? Share your comments below!

Q&A: Should I Be Concerned About My Man’s Social Network Activity with Other Women?

Question from Jane C.: This guy and I have been dating for a few months now, and everything is going great, but I sometimes get bothered by the way he interacts with other girls on social media. It will pop up on my Facebook Newsfeed that he’s liked a bunch of girl’s photos or commented on some girl’s picture. Should I read into this, or am I just being paranoid?

Related Link: Is It Okay If My Boyfriend Texts His Ex?

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When you’re dating someone exclusively, it just means that you’re not going to date other people. It doesn’t mean that he can’t be friends with other women or like their photos on Facebook.

However, that being said, his behavior could be inappropriate based on the type of photos he’s liking or commenting on. If the photos are innocent in nature, then I wouldn’t be so worried. But if the photos are sexy or provocative photos of the women and he’s making inappropriate comments, then it’s definitely a red flag that he may have a wandering eye. Not to mention the fact that it’s completely disrespectful to you! If the tables were reversed, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate you liking and commenting on photos of other men with their shirts off or flexing their muscles.

It’s not something that I would say you should break up over. However, it is something that you should keep an eye out for.

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: The way people interact online can give you a good insight to their personality. In your boyfriend’s case, he seems to be flirty and outgoing. He doesn’t think twice when he comments on girls’ pictures or posts on their walls because that’s his personality. He probably doesn’t see anything wrong with it. His online interactions are completely innocent to him because he doesn’t think too deeply into them. Although it may not be a problem to him, it is for you. It’s important to be open and honest with your feelings and opinions, so let him know what you’re thinking. Otherwise, he may never change his behavior.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: It’s called social media for a reason. People connect online and socialize. Unfortunately, a lot of guys raised on social media think the way to score dates is sitting in front of their laptops in their tightey whiteys and hitting on random women. And that could be the case here. Without knowing the parameters of Jane’s relationship, it’s easy to condemn this guy for blatantly flirting while he’s dating Jane.

If they’re in an exclusive relationship, Jane might ask why he’s so friendly with these other women. If he’s evasive or she doesn’t buy his answer, she has some choices. She can put up with it (not recommended), return the favor and also flirt online, or start dating other people — at least until he realizes what’s good for guys can be very good for the ladies.

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How do you handle concern about your partner’s social media habits? Share with us in the comments below!

Single in Stilettos Show: How to Get a Second Date

On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to Robert Manni, author of The Guys’ Guy’s Guide to Love, about how to get a second date. It’s easy to get him to say yes to a first date, but securing another night out with the right guy can be a bit trickier. Here are some tips that Manni recommends following: have confidence; don’t drink too much; dress the part; talk about your dreams; have a conversation and really get to know him; and send a “thank you” text afterwards.

Related Link: 5 Ways Women Sabotage Themselves with Men

Of course, whether or not he asks you out again is ultimately up to him, but if you follow the advice above, he’ll be more likely to do so. Good luck!

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What’s your best advice for ensuring that he asks you out again? Share your comments below!

Q&A: Should I Tell My Friend Her Crush Has Been Facebook Messaging Me?

Question from Amelia S.: This guy who my friend has been hanging out with a lot will randomly message me on Facebook whenever I’m online. It’s always harmless stuff like, “What are you up to?” but it still catches me off guard. Should I tell her, and if so, what’s the best way to bring up the subject?

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: You know that saying “you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place?” Well, guess what? You’re in a no-win situation! From what you said, it sounds like your friend just likes him and isn’t dating him yet, so “technically,” she can’t get upset that he’s contacting you. Now, I say “technically” because we both know that, if you tell her, she will be upset and hurt.

Now, while you may think that his messages to you are completely harmless, men don’t do things without some sort of intention. Without knowing the entire situation, I’m going to guess that he’s not just looking for a friend and that those harmless messages are going to lead to something more.

So here’s my advice to you: If you truly value your friendship with your friend and have no interest whatsoever in this guy, then I suggest you ignore his “harmless messages”…because it’s just going to lead to a no-win situation for everyone involved.

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: Absolutely tell your friend that this guy has been messaging you. If it truly is harmless, he won’t be embarrassed or upset if she brings it up. If he does have an ulterior motive, then you warned your friend, and it’s now her move. It’s much better to be honest with your friends about situations like this one. If you didn’t tell her and she found out, she may get upset with you. If it really is nothing, then what’s the harm in letting her know?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Some say where there’s smoke, there’s fire. In this case, it’s hard not to miss the smoke — but let’s not rush to judgement. When a guy is really interested in a woman, his focus is on her, and he curtails his flirting. Maybe this guy just wants to establish good relationships with his leading lady’s BFFs. Still, I’m not sure if this is the best way to do it. He must know that girlfriends talk. And when friends talk about the curious actions of a guy, his behavior and character go under the microscope. At this point, I’m not sure that’s in his best interests.

As for you, for now, I suggest you either ignore his Facebook messages or keep the exchanges polite. Over time, his true intentions will surface. When they do, you can determine if it’s necessary to let your friend know about his correspondence.

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How would you handle the situation described above? Tell us in the comments below!

Single in Stilettos Show: 5 Signs He’s Not The One!

On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to Robert Manni, dating coach and author of The Guy’s Guys Guide to Love, about how to know if the man you’re dating is The One. Here are five signs that he’s not your soul mate: He’s too jealous; he overindulges when it comes to drugs or alcohol; he has different views than you about money; he doesn’t want to be around your family; and he’s abusive in some way.

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How did you know when you found The One? Tell us in the comments below.

Q&A: Can You Tell by Someone’s Social Network If They’re the Relationship Type?

Question from Charlie W.: When I first meet someone, I always add them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and do the inevitable cyber-stalking that everyone does but no one wants to admit. Are there signs that show if someone is the relationship type or just looking to have a good time?

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: It’s so true: No one likes to admit to cyber-stalking, but the reality is, checking out a man that you just started dating on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram can really tell you so much about him. You’ll find out what’s important to him and what he likes to do in his free time.

While there aren’t any specific indicators to tell if he’s the relationship type, there are some signs to watch out for that reveal if he’s just looking to have a good time. If he posts a lot of photos of himself surrounded by beautiful women (you know the type — I think every woman knows a man like this!), he could be feeling the need to be validated and just want to play the field. Or if he posts a lot of photos of him partying and having fun with his buddies, he might still be in the Animal House phase of his life and not have any intentions of getting serious with someone. Ultimately, there aren’t hard and fast rules when it comes to determining if a man is relationship material; however, these are some red flags to look for while you’re dating him.

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: Finding out what a person is like through social media can be a tricky thing, but it can be a good way to see if they are worthy of getting to know more after a first impression. A good way to tell if someone is the relationship type is to look at the activities they like. If they enjoy hiking, cooking, reading, or spending time with friends or family, they may be more of the relationship type. But if there are tons of pictures at clubs, bars, or parties, they may be just looking to have a good time. Though these signs give a good idea of what a person likes to do, they are not the best way to find out who they really are. Instead, get to know them in person and spend quality time together.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: If you dig deep enough, you can get a reasonable idea about someone’s relationship potential based on their social media activity. We all take a look at our new dates online, but we need to be careful not to prejudge our prospects solely based on their tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram photos. Not only is the content mostly superficial, but it takes a lot of the fun and mystery out of dating! After all, the best way to get to know someone is in person.

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Have you ever judged someone you’re dating based on their social media activity? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Single in Stilettos Show: How to Be Successful with Online Dating

On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to dating coach and author Robert Manni about how to be successful with online dating. He answers the following questions: What are the three main things men look for in an online dating profile? What should you do if you’re not getting a response? How can a woman contact a man without seeming desperate?

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What is your best online dating tip? Tell us in the comments below.

Q&A: Is It Okay If My Boyfriend Texts His Ex?

Question from Alex S.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost six months. Every once in a while, I’ll see a text on his phone pop up from his ex. He says they’re just friends, and he’s even introduced me to her before, but my girlfriends tell me that it’s weird and that I should ask to read their messages. What do you think?

Answer from Our Love Experts:

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: If you ask to read the text messages, it’s going to be a red flag to your boyfriend. You’re basically saying that you don’t trust him and that you’re insecure about your relationship. It’s going to be a huge turn-off to him, especially if there’s nothing going on with his ex. Honestly, I think it’s far more important for you to find out about his past relationship history and how it ended. Is she trying to win him back after he broke up with her? If so, then it is an issue that he’s still communicating with her. Or did they both mutually decide to end the relationship and really are just friends? Believe it or not, it is possible to be friends with an ex. I’m actually friends with a couple of my exes, and believe me, nothing is going on!

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: A lingering ex-girlfriend is never a comfortable situation, but sometimes, men don’t feel negatively about their exes. Men hate drama, and one surefire way to get involved in drama is being rude to their ex. Instead, they figure they’ll just be nice and friendly, and it won’t be a big deal.

Unfortunately, they have no idea how uncomfortable it makes you feel as their current girlfriend. The only way to resolve this issue it to talk to your boyfriend about it. Let him know what you’re thinking and try to make him understand from your point of view. Otherwise, he’ll never know it bothers you. If he’s really over his ex, he’ll understand and find you and your feelings more important than talking to her.

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Although social media plays a prominent role in relationships, every situation is different, so there’s no definitive answer. However, communicating clearly and honestly with your partner is always recommended. In Alex’s case, I suggest she forget about asking to read the texts. Her boyfriend responded when asked, and it could be an occasional harmless exchange.

Let’s address the real issue. Alex is uncomfortable, and she doesn’t understand why it’s important for him to stay connected to his ex. That’s a fair question. If her boyfriend knows she feels this way but insists on keeping constant contact with his ex, that’s a warning sign. He needs to man up and let Alex know if his priorities are with the past or the present. And Alex needs to determine her course of action based on his response.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our experts, please submit them on our Contact Page.

Do you still text your ex? Why? Let us know in the comments below!