A man in a relationship has an affair. Photo: conrado / Bigstock.com
By Toni Coleman
We read celebrity gossip about infidelity all the time. Sometimes, as in the cases of Debra Messing or Claire Danes, it’s a part of their dating behavior. But what compels a partner to cheat? And why are the perimeters of commitment such a mystery to them? In this article, relationship expert Toni Coleman, LCSW, gives relationship advice and explores the hidden meanings behind infidelity and what we can do to secure our relationships and love.
How to discuss finances with your significant other. Photo: dolgachov / Bigstock
By Toni Coleman
While celebrity news cites irreconcilable differences as the final blow for celebrity divorces such as Brandi Glanville of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” actress Kaley Cuoco, and celebrity chef Giada DeLaurentiis, it doesn’t take long for the matter of money to surface as part of the proceedings. Whether finances are openly discussed as an asset to a healthy relationship and love, or used as fodder when your vows start falling in the red, money is an integral part of any marriage.
Love advice for being positive even when life is unexpected. Photo: GG/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
By Debbie Ceresa
You know the feeling. It’s that unsettling doubt that surfaces when the best of days turns into the worst of moments. It’s like the time Taylor Swift was awarded the 2009 MTV Best Female Video Award only to watch helplessly as the self-proclaimed ‘expert’ on artistry, Kanye West, took the microphone to express his differing opinion. Thankfully, most of us aren’t confronted with these instances on national television, yet our reactions to these experiences are just as emotionally charged. As a relationship expert, I know these moments happen in relationships and love all the time. During these occasions, you’re faced with a choice. How you handle that decision can make all of the difference in the outcome.
How to get financially stable after divorce. Photo: zimmytws / Bigstock.com
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
As the media shares details of celebrity break-ups we learn that even the rich and famous aren’t immune to financial hardships. With stars like Brian Austin Green and Avril Lavigne taking steps toward a life on their own, we are reminded of the importance of keeping our financial history intact.
If your relationship and love has been confronted with unexpected and undesirable changes, you might consider ending your marriage. While we witness the threat of celebrity divorce surface almost every day, along with other nasty allegations, the fact remains that the decision to pursue a divorce is a personal choice.
“Today, I marry my friend.” It’s a common declaration of love shared between two people as part of their wedding ceremony. We promise “to love and cherish until death do us part.” But what happens when the relationship and love you once shared dies? Is it possible to stay friends with your ex?
Hope After Divorce relationship expert shares relationship advice for how to be friends post-divorce, using celebrity exes Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon as an example. Photo: Janet Mayer / PRPhotos.com
By Debbie Ceresa
“I don’t regret getting the divorce,” a close friend confided recently. “It’s more resentment. My ex seems to be moving on with his life so easily. I fear I may never find someone I can trust again.” Sound familiar? Many divorcees can relate to these circumstances, and celebrity couples are no exception. We saw it play out in Hollywood with celebrity exes Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, who handled a private and painful break-up in the public eye. Inevitably, two people who have ended their relationship and love with each other must move forward. Most of us hope to get a second chance at love, but sometimes, that isn’t the case, and you find yourself standing still while your ex moves on.
While the economy is turning up, middle- and lower-class Americans are still struggling with financial challenges. Many couples that are ready to call it quits in their relationship and love are postponing the divorce decision because they can’t afford it or the two-home reality in their future. As a relationship expert, here is my love advice for how to cope with the economic reality of divorce.
Can you remember the first time you were in love? Do you remember how the mere image of your partner took control of your thoughts? Your actions? Your view of the world? Life was vibrant and hopeful. Most of us can relate, but fast forward seven years, and the crowd thins a little. The intensity has dimmed or even disappeared long ago. Were we wrong about that person…or are we just incapable of maintaining a lasting relationship and love? …On the edge of your seat? Click here for more!
Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie with Luca. Photo: FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
By Debbie Bartashius-Ceresa
Whose divorce is it? Perhaps this sounds like a strange question when talking about the Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie custody dispute or the battle of where Jodie Sweetin and Morty Coyle’s little Beatrix will attend pre-school. But as a relationship expert, I know that a divorce can cause many losses, especially for the children. …On the edge of your seat? Click here for more!
In the latest celebrity news, actress Pamela Anderson recently announced that her celebrity divorce to two-time husband, Rick Salomon, was final. In retrospect, she realized she never should have traveled down that path a second time. In contrast, my aunt Marie Osmond reunited with and remarried her first husband, Stephen Craig, 26 years after they divorced. This celebrity couple is fantastic together, and I’m thrilled to see them back together. As Uncle Donny stated in People.com, “These two people are right for each other.”
I am a woman for whom the relationship “r-word” had been “roadkill” more often than “recommitment” (not nearly as often as my almost namesake Elizabeth Taylor but more in the range of Demi Moore or Jennifer Lopez). So it’s surprising that I leapt to the assumption that “May is National Recommitment Month” was for romantic relationships. A Google search, however, led in a different direction. …Want more relationship advice? Click here!
Fellow fictional vampires Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder just tied the knot in their celebrity wedding after a whirlwind romance. The famous couple began their relationship in the fall of 2014 when Reed announced she and her then-husband Paul McDonald were separating. By January 2015, the celebrity divorce was finalized and Somerhalder had popped the question. Now, the two are hitched and honeymooning in Brazil after dating for less than a year.
I recently received the letter below and offered my expert relationship advice in my response.
Expert Relationship Advice from Hope After Divorce
Dear Toni,
Somehow, I have fallen in love with a married man. I know what you must be thinking: that if I knew he was married, and I walked into it anyway, I did this to myself and need to just accept the consequences. If so, you would be right, but I honestly didn’t have the intent to go down this path. It more or less evolved from us being co-workers and friends. Ironically, he was the one who I leaned on a lot through my ex’s infidelity and subsequent divorce. It was a time of great vulnerability for me, and he was just so great; in fact, he was everything my ex had never been. After hours of talking, long lunches, drinks after work and an increased frequency in texting, we shared a kiss. From there, it was too easy. …Want to know more? Click here to continue!
Hope After Divorce relationship expert shares dating advice for more mindful relationships and love, using celebrity exes Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon as an example.Photo: Janet Mayer / PRPhotos.com
Relationships and love begin at a young age for many of us, long before we are adults. Luckily, there are words of dating advice, guidance, and wisdom we can share to help each other through these sometimes murky waters. After all, we are all navigating our way through relationships — whether they be family, romantic, or platonic — in one way or another. …Don’t miss the rest of this great dating advice! Click here for more.
“It seems that, whenever I allow myself to react without thinking, someone is watching from nearby who knows me. Can you relate?”
I was in a fast food restaurant with my family the other night, and everything seemed to be going wrong for me. The tomato basil soup I ordered wasn’t quite ready, so I was told it would be just a few minutes before it was brought out to me. Well, 20 minutes later — after my family had nearly finished their chicken noodle soup — mine finally arrived…cold!
If you didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, don’t feel bad. Many people don’t. In fact, I happen to be one of them. But just because you didn’t make any resolutions, that doesn’t mean you can’t make any changes.
Here is a four-step process to help divorced families handle traditions and changes during the holidays.
P: Planning and Positive New Traditions
Planning the holiday schedule in advance reduces the chances for miscommunication and gives parents time to iron out any conflicts.
Plan something special for the children over the holidays, so they have something to look forward to with each parent.
Take some “me” time for you to rest, relax and recuperate.
Focus on the positive aspects of these changes. Your children have two parents who love them and want to spend holiday time with them. Involve your children in planning and experiencing new activities and holiday traditions.
Anytime there is a life-changing event, such as a divorce, family traditions and routines are affected. Children see the family unit as broken. Recognize and acknowledge that it’s sad that you won’t be together over the holidays.
The disruption of holiday and family traditions is difficult. Children generally want to be with both parents during this special time of year. Help your children deal with these emotions by talking about the changes.
C: Cooperation and Communication
Try to cooperate with scheduling and have added flexibility which reduces conflict. If you can’t work it out, let it go.
If possible, do something special with the children for the other parent. A simple card or dinner during the holidays sends a positive message to your kids.
Allow the other parent to easily communicate by phone or Skype with the children over the holidays. A lack of communication during the holidays can lead to conflict. This is an easy way of co-parenting.
Children often feel divided and torn in a divorce, so give your children permission to enjoy holiday time with the other parent. This way, children can look forward to spending time with each parent without feeling guilty.
Encourage your children to talk about their feelings and give them say in what they want over the holidays.
For more information about Hope After Divorce, click here.
Amie Greenberg, JD, MBA has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Pitzer College. She has a JD from the University of La Verne, College of Law and an MBA from the University of La Verne College of Business and Public Management. She now practices family law in Beverly Hills, California. Amie and her mother Barbara Greenberg, MD, authored I Am Divorced … But I’m Still Me books after personally and professionally experiencing the impact of divorce. They recognized a need to acknowledge how children viewed their world before, during, and after divorce. Their hope is to help other families who are going through the pain of divorce. You can contact Amie for legal services at amiegreenberglaw.com. Follow her on Twitter @4childofdivorce. Amie is a contributing expert at Divorce Support Center and their Director of Community Outreach with her blog Divorce Corner™. Amie also contributes as an advisory board member of Divorce Support Center. More information about the authors, their books, and their blog is available at http://www.AChildsViewofDivorce.com.
“He is my best friend.” These words came from the lips of a wife. It isn’t the first time I have heard a wife say this about her other half, but it is the first time that I really thought about the impact of a “best friend” relationship in a marriage — and even more impacting, in a remarriage.
It’s very important to make special occasions comfortable for children after a divorce. You may find it’s better to have birthday parties or Christmas morning at both homes, and most children will love the extra attention. However, there will be some events that can’t be divided, and that’s where communication between the parents is essential.
“Stay in bed a few extra minutes in the morning and listen to the birds chirping outside your window…”
Fall is my favorite time of the year. Besides the cooler temperatures and beautiful colors in the mountains, I love what it represents. The holidays are coming, and family time is more prevalent. I get to make soup for dinner more often than not, and it’s time to turn the fireplaces on and bring out the blankets. Plus, it’s by far the best time of the year for driving around in my convertible PT Cruiser with the top down. I tell myself it is good for my soul; it makes me feel happy and alive. And if it’s too cold for the top to be down, I put it down anyway and blast the heater. I know that there are others out there who do the very same thing!
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott. Photo: Claudio Uema / PR Photos
By Cynthia MacGregor for Hope After Divorce
Celebrity moms Tori Spelling and Kendra Wilkinson are both contemplating divorce due to their unfaithful husbands Dean McDermott and Hank Baskett. They have a lot to consider and process before making the life-changing decision to divorce. Not only will it change their own lives, but it will change their children’s lives. They say divorce changes who children are — and that’s a very serious reality we parents must not take lightly. A second chance is certainly worth the effort when kids are concerned, as long as there is no abuse happening (physical, emotional, or mental) in the home.
The expenses for caring for children continue to rise, and that doesn’t make it any easier for divorced parents. Each parent attempts to keep their own household going, and at the same time, they often try to share expenses for their children. This may be court ordered or due to a mutual agreement between the parents.
Whether the divorcing couple is a celebrity couple in the public eye or a private couple, the children’s needs and welfare should be the number one priority. You must accept and embrace the reality that your children’s expenses to live will not change. They are our greatest responsibility and deserve the best care and protection we can give them, whether married or divorced. Some divorced celebrity couples, like Demi Moore and Bruce Willis and Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe, seem to put their children’s best interest ahead of their own as they co-parent together.
Routine check-ups at both the doctor’s office and the dentist are essential for your children. One of the parents should have both medical and dental coverage on the children, as the cost of this type of preventative care out of pocket is very high. If one of your children have an emergency for either place, it can be a bill you have to pay for a very long time.
Childcare is another expense that can add up when a divorce takes place. Perhaps one of the parents was the caregiver, and now both are in the workforce. The parents should decide on a childcare provider together. It may be a licensed facility, a nanny, or even a family member. The cost of childcare should be second to the quality of care that your children are receiving.
Inevitably, there will be additional expenses for your children. Who is going to pay for school clothing and supplies? Many parents who pay child support assume that they pay enough for such items with that monthly check. Yet it may be just enough to help the family with food and shelter. You don’t want your children to go without due to lack of money.
Many children love to be involved in extracurricular activities as well. It can be sports, dance, or clubs. There will be expenses involved, including special clothing and shoes needed and even enrollment fees. Parents need to be willing to share these expenses so that their children can take part in such events.
Summer is also a time when there are more expenses for children. They may want to go to swimming lessons, camping, or even to a summer camp. All of these things cost money, and someone has to pay it! Some feel the parent who makes more money should cover the cost. This is up to the parents though, as many want to do everything 50/50. Problems could arise when one parent can’t afford their share.
As you can see, there are plenty of additional expenses to consider for your children when you are divorced. Make sure you are willing to discuss these expenses with the other parent. You always want to do what’s in the best interest of your children. Bottom line: Get as much in writing as you can when it comes to who will cover expenses. This way, everyone involved knows what to plan for.
For more information about Hope After Divorce, click here.
Michele Sfakianos, RN, BSN, is a Registered Nurse, Life Skills Expert, Speaker and Award Winning Author. She is the owner of Open Pages Publishing, which includes her series of “The 4-1-1” books on Life Skills, Step Parenting, and Surviving Teenhood. Michele is a contributing expert for HopeAfterDivorce.org, DivorceSupportCenter.com, FamilyShare.com, and CupidsPulse.com.
…it’s impossible to have genuine, solid, meaningful relationships with other people if we don’t think much of ourselves.
During an interview this week, I found myself talking about how important the relationships we have in our lives are. And as we talked, we brought up the fact that the relationship we have with ourselves is, by far, one of the most important ones we can have. Why? Because it’s impossible to have genuine, solid, meaningful relationships with other people if we don’t think much of ourselves.