Is Dating Your Ex Off Limits?

By Erika Mionis

After a tough breakup, many people gorge themselves in the nearest pint of ice cream and attempt to forget their sorrows.  Shortly thereafter, it’s common for them to experience a rush of self-confidence; they’re determined to enjoy being single.  However, the rush and the ice cream therapy can’t last forever.

It’s easy to assume going back to your ex is okay if you have a change of heart.  And in some cases, it’s acceptable to retry a failed relationship.  However, it’s important to fully analyze your breakup, your ex and your plans for the future before rekindling the flame.  Here are a few things to consider:

The cause:

Even the most pointless breakups happen for a reason.  Before restarting your relationship with your ex, make sure to figure out why the two of you split up in the first place.  If your breakup was caused by a petty argument, feel free to reconsider the relationship.  If the parting of ways was the result of a wrongdoing on your partner’s part, think about moving on.  Though there are exceptions to every rule, for the most part, people don’t change.  Starting a relationship with someone you don’t trust may only lead to more distress in your life.

Possibility of forgiveness:

If your ex was the one who ended the relationship, reconnecting with each other will be even more difficult.  Work on the small personality issues that your partner may have disliked and ask your ex for another chance.  Though this will take time, eventually you will be a better person because of it.  If your breakup was caused by a personal mistake on your part, your ex may not consider dating you again.  Be prepared to accept rejection.

Your ex:

Is your ex really worth it?  Trying to rekindle the flame will take enormous effort on both of your parts.  You should only date again if you truly feel that your ex could be “the one.”

Related: Ten Signs You’re Dating a Jerk

The future:

Don’t run back to your ex if you feel optimistic about the future.  If you have a close friendship with someone that could potentially lead to more, go for it.  Contemplating the past may be a waste of time.  There are probably better relationships still to come.

Related: How to Campaign for a Better Relationship

Would you give your ex another chance?  Share your comments below.