We all know and love Niecy Nash as an actress, television host and comedienne. What you may not know, though, is that she’s quite the matchmaker as well. In fact, it was at her first matchmaking party that she introduced best friend and The View co-host Sherri Shepherd to her now-husband Lamar Sally. From there, she began hosting an online show on Yahoo! called “Let’s Talk About Love,” which eventually developed into her new book, It’s Hard to Fight Naked. In it, she invites her readers to think differently about matters of the heart and shares her tips for finding true love. We chatted with the newly-minted author about the book’s eye-catching title and many words of wisdom.
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What inspired you to write a book of relationship advice?
I fell in love! After I experienced the best part of a relationship, I wanted that for all of my girlfriends. I feel like we struggle most at the thing we were created for, which was love.
What can readers expect to learn from It’s Hard to Fight Naked?
First, you will attract what you are. So inevitably, you should be what you want to receive. If you’re dating and all of your potentials partners are crazier than the last person, then you need to look in the mirror and say, “Good morning, crazy!” That’s part of what you’re bringing to the table.
Also, it’s one thing if you just want to hang out and have fun. But when you’re looking to settle down, then you have to move into a place where you date with your priorities versus your preferences. There are certain things that you require in a relationship that are more important than superficial things. You have to find someone who meets the priorities of what you want in a man, and then you can consider the outer wrappings of a relationship.
Let’s talk about the title!
It has a figurative and a literal application. Figuratively, when you are exposed and vulnerable, you’re at your truest self. And you have to walk in the truth. I think people sometimes approach relationships like they’re a game — they don’t really want to show their hand or their feelings or their fears. When you’re honest, though, you’re exposed, and that’s when you’re most “naked.”
The literal meaning takes us back to Adam and Eve when they were really naked and unashamed in the garden. If you have your clothes off, there’s a party! I’m a lover, not a fighter, so I’d rather stay in any state that leads to love as opposed to fighting.
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And did this type of vulnerability help you meet your husband, Jay Tucker?
I was very honest with him. When you’re deciding to marry someone, there has to be a like-mindedness. Your partner needs to know the truth about how you think, you feel.
Finally, what advice do you have for someone struggling to show her true self?
You have to work on being honest with yourself. You see women who say they don’t care if they ever get married or have a family, yet every Sunday morning, they watch a marathon of Say Yes to the Dress. Knock it off! You have to be honest with yourself first. Once you walk in your own truth, you’ll be better able to communicate that to a man. If you’re living a lie, of course, it’s going to be hard to be open with someone else.
You can purchase Nash’s new book It’s Hard to Fight Naked on Amazon. To keep up with the author, follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Be sure to check out www.niecynash.com too!
