Ask the Guys’ Guy: How to Pick Up the Man You Like

By Robert Manni

Question from Shaylin R: I’m all for making the first move on a guy I like. What are some tactics men like when a woman tries to pick him up?

Best Ways to Make the First Move on the Guy You Like

Hi Shaylin:

Your question and suggestion is music to the ears of most of the men I know. Maybe it’s because guys today are not sure how to make a real connection with a woman once they get past texting and swiping. Some guys are just plain lazy. Whatever the reasons are, most guys love it when women are proactive and make the first move and “pick them up.” I’m not sure this is necessarily a good thing for women, but if you make the first move you will get a reaction, so it’s worth a shot.

Related Link: Ask the Guys’ Guy: Online Dating for Beginners

Women send subtle signals to guys they are interested in. The problem is, most men don’t pay attention and therefore do not know how to read the signals of an interested woman unless those signals are overt. I am not suggesting that women simply take over the dating dance and ask the guys out. I believe in romance, seduction, and a man behaving like a man in the very best sense of the word. Guys need to put themselves on the line more, ask women out more, and plan the specifics of a date. If women let guys off the hook on these basics and do all the work, IMHO, guys will sit back and let you. So, be careful of what you wish for.

Related Link: Ask the Guys’ Guy: How to Win a First Date After Meeting Online

That said, times are a-changing and no one wants to wait around until a guy finally gets the message that you are interested. If the guy you set your sights on is not responding to your subtle overtures, it’s okay to make a move,

Here’s an example: he’s always talking about the Yankees. If you have a connection, you could say, “My company has a season box at Yankee Stadium. I have them next Thursday.” If he does not take the bait, maybe you want to rethink the situation. You can also offer to meet up casually for beers to discuss an issue he’s facing or meet up for some much needed post-workout hydration after spin class. The point is, make it feel organic and not like you are chasing him. Leave bread crumbs on the path and make him work.

If you don’t feel like playing it that way, ask him out without an organic connection. This could be coffee, drinks, or whatever. If he’s into you, he’ll jump at the chance. Once things get underway though, I suggest putting the onus back on him to pursue you. After all, do you really want to chase the guy around? He should be chasing you. You’re worth it, right?

Good luck.

Robert Manni

If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.

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