This week’s relationship advice from Single in Stilettos showcases founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima interviewing relationship author Wendy Newman. If you get stuck in the dating cycle, Newman’s tips in this dating advice video will help you work past the dating stage into a successful long-term relationship, teaching you how to maintain a lasting love.
Relationship Advice to Help You Maintain Love
Newman’s three nuggets of wisdom will help you build that long-term relationship you’ve been after:
1. No one is in trouble:Â Ever heard of the phrase “the dog house?” Yeah, we’re all pretty familiar with that one. Newman’s relationship advice is that we no longer make our S.O. feel like they’re in trouble. Instead of attacking each other, this mindset gives you and your partner the opportunity to attack the problem together. Newman asks, “Wouldn’t that be an amazing place to come from — where we never put someone in trouble and instead create that best friend feeling?” We sure think so!
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2. Schedule monthly relationship check-ups:Â “There is never a good time to talk about unpleasant things,” Newman says. It’s important to tackle things that aren’t working in a relationship. Newman and her love meet every month (they make a date of it on the full moon, but you can choose whenever works best for you) and ask each other a regular set of questions. They start with, “Is there anything you need from me that you found hard to get this month?” Another question they always ask is, “What did you make up about me this month?” Ask questions relevant to your relationship. No matter what you ask, we can all agree that a wellness check-up has its benefits.
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3. Have autonomy:Â “When we collapse our own individuality into another’s world, we lose ourselves in the relationship,” Newman shares. Resentment and the blame game ends up following. Oshima adds, “When your life is great, and your partner’s life is great, eventually, your life together will be great.” That means you don’t need to feel bad for girls’ night! Pursue your own interests and encourage your partner to do the same. Happy lives individually mean an even stronger relationship and sense of happiness together.
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