By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher for Project Soulmate with contributing writer Holly Kiffer
Who doesn’t love a great romantic comedy? They’re perfect for date night or spending quality time with your girls and a bottle of wine. Though the plot lines can be entertaining, romantic comedies are unrealistic and offer poor relationship advice. However there are a few dating tips you can learn from romantic comedies about what not to do, according to relationship experts.
Relationship Advice That Goes Against Romantic Comedies
Be Yourself, Not Like In How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. First thing’s first, always be yourself! How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days has taught us how to be the best and only version of ourselves. Throughout the whole movie Kate Hudson tries to push Matthew McConaughey away by being the bananas crazy, clingy girlfriend, who most guys would run as far across the country as they could. If a guy is interested in you then they’re looking for the real you, they don’t want to get to know the pretend, “of course I’m okay” type of girl, when deep down you’re really not. You should never have to pretend to be someone else just to impress a guy. In contrast, if they seem uninterested then, as Beyonce would say, “Tell that boy bye!” Our high end matchmaking relationship experts say dating should be a fun experience as long as you get out there and do your thing. You should never be afraid to express yourself. Moral of the story, always be yourself because the best version of you is always yourself.
Related Link: Relationship Advice: Stay True to Yourself
Don’t Jump into Marriage for The Wrong Reasons, Not Like In The Proposal. Ah The Proposal, a classic movie where Sandra Bullock is going to be deported unless she becomes a U.S. citizen through marriage. Of course the closest person she can force into marrying her is her dreaded assistant, Ryan Reynolds. In this movie she attempted to marry because she felt like she had no other choice. When you find the one you truly love, you should do it because it’s YOUR choice. When you marry someone, do it because you found your true love, not because you’re about to be deported! That’s settling, or just plain lazy and throwing in the towel. Marrying for the wrong reasons, like “settling down” is not the resolution; instead of quitting on the dating scene, push yourself to find the one. If you just settle for an average Joe, you may never experience full happiness or a potentially happy marriage. The average Joe may make you regret the biggest decision of your life. Wouldn’t you rather search for the prince charming that Cinderella found than settle for the boring Joe? Our matchmakers suggest never giving up on love, and never settle for the wrong reasons.
Related Link: 10 Celebrity Couples Who Have Made Marriage Work
Don’t Make Drastic Decisions After Heartbreak, Not Like In Crazy Stupid Love. It’s Crazy Stupid Love, you know the one, with the eminent, sexy Ryan Gosling. In this case Ryan Gosling helps the heartbroken Steve Carell, get over his ex wife, while he goes through a divorce. Steve transforms into a player with relationship advice provided by Ryan Gosling. As a result, Carell picks up girls on different nights at the same bar. In this case, changing your persona 180 to recover from heartbreak can be more damaging to your health expected. You’re heart and emotional self need time to recover. Splitting up is never easy and it takes time to fully recover; you don’t instantly get over a person with the snap of your fingers. Elite Daily’s Alexia LaFata, states there are seven factors that affect how long it’ll take you to get over your past relationship, “the length of the relationship or marriage, how recently you split up, how ‘intense’ or even ‘obsessive’ the relationship was, how important it was to you, how it ended, whether there was any domestic violence, whether or not the relationship was an affair.” If you instantly start going out as an attempt forget about your ex, your bank account and body will regret it the day after. Dating in NYC is a great way to experience and meet people but our matchmakers suggest giving it at least, the duration of the relationship before going out and spending all your money at the bars. Besides, going out 24/7 will not only hurt your bank account but your body will feel the effects as well. Losing your figure over heartbreak is simply not worth it. Just remember to give it some time before jumping to conclusions like Crazy Stupid Love.
Related Link: Dating Advice: How To Get Over A Breakup
Don’t Have Sex with Your Friends As a Last Resort, Not Like In Friends with Benefits. A very modern twist to a rom com occurred in Friends with Benefits, the movie depicting how sex can ruin friendships or workplace environments. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis proved to the world that the phrase “just sex” doesn’t always work out as planned. It’s like the old saying your parents always said when you were play fighting with a sibling, “someone is bound to get hurt.” Sex isn’t just a physical thing; it’s emotional and mental. It’s almost impossible to tell yourself it’s “just sex” because after a while you start to become physically and emotionally attached to that person. Then in worst-case scenarios, the opposite person doesn’t share the same feeling and someone gets hurt. Then there’s always awkward tension, knowing you saw one of your friends naked. Or that awkward moment when things have sizzled out and you see them in the coffee shop and you have word vomit. SO instead of having to go through that awkward stage, friends are just friends. Sex with friends just may not be the best idea. That doesn’t mean you can’t think about what your colleague looks like after he is about to shower. But if there’s anything you can take away from Friends with Benefits, is that friends should remain friends, not sex friends.
Related Link: How to Turn a Friendship into a Relationship
In conclusion, always BE YOURSELF because the best version of you is always the you. Also marry for the right reasons not because you’re about to be deported or feel like giving up and settling for the average Joe, instead follow your heart and find your prince charming. Remember emotional heartbreaks take time to fully recover, and don’t go buck wild right away by changing who you really are. Lastly, don’t make a friendship awkward by adding sex into it. Or in other words, don’t follow relationship advice from romantic comedies!
Relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are BRAVO TV’s Love Brokers and founders of Project Soulmate, a high-end New York-based matchmaking company.
