By J’Nel Wright for Divorce Support Center
The last trace of snow has finally melted as we transition from winter to spring. For many, the realization that spring is officially in the air symbolizes the end of a long, dark winter filled with unrealized goals, baggage left over from the holidays, and the end of winter blues. Take my dating advice: This is the perfect time to shake out the dust and shadows trapped in our minds and bodies and welcome renewal. The process of reinventing ourselves isn’t a new concept. Many celebrities have transformed themselves in ways that reinforce their place in the annals of super-stardom. Jamie Foxx could have remained a one-act comedian — he is certainly funny enough. Instead, he reinvented himself as a musician and an actor and emerged triumphant in both areas. We can enjoy that same sense of renewal in our lives.
Dating Advice: Spring Into Action This Season
1. Get off the couch. Your New Year’s Resolutions may have bit the dust a long time ago, but it’s never too late to reignite an exercise routine. Spring is the perfect time to explore different exercise routines or experiment with new gear. “Short-term goals will help you make physical activity a regular part of your daily life,” reported The National Institute on Aging as part of their Go4Life campaign. “For these goals, think about the things you need to get or do to be physically active. For example, you may need to buy appropriate fitness clothes or walking shoes. Make sure your short-term goals will really help you be more active.”
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2. Toss out the negative thoughts. This spring season is the perfect time to throw out the self-criticism and negativity you’ve been carrying around all winter long. Are you still haunted by the offhanded remarks from the last family gathering or the critical comments from a co-worker? Maybe your significant other wasn’t as supportive as you needed him to be during a stressful time. Chances are, you are giving those remarks more thought than they are. You know your capabilities as an employee, and you know you are a good person, so it’s time to shake the negative remarks out of your head and move on.
3. Throw out the critical relationships. Much like we sort through the clothing that no longer fits or feels comfortable, the same sorting process can be used to sift through the relationships that no longer benefit us. “It could be that you’ve grown apart and don’t share the same goals and values,” wrote relationship expert Debra Rogers. “Or you’ve both simply become unhappy. If you’re wondering where you’re headed, it’s straight to no-where-ville. Sail to a new shore and find a better man for you.” If you’re having relationship problems and growing tired of defending your actions, enduring unfair criticism or playing down your accomplishments for the sake of sparing the feelings of an insecure friend or partner, it’s time to clean out your contact list. You need people in your life who will support you, celebrate you, and make you feel good about yourself. My dating advice? Try signing up for help from a professional matchmaker to help you through this process.
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4. Sort through personal goals. Spring is the ideal time to refocus on lost goals or eliminate self-defeating habits. Do you still procrastinate? Is the novel you have been working on since college still gathering dust on the shelf? Perhaps now is the time to start eliminating personal debt or build up a savings fund for an upcoming trip. The key is to try new things and embrace new challenges that help us grow. “You probably don’t think about how bad habits sabotage your life in so many areas. Many of those habits are things that you waste time doing that cause you to lose sight of the big picture and become consumed with whatever is right in front of you,” wrote Dr. Michelle Callahan, a psychologist and author. This is the time to recommit to those goals and reinvent ourselves.
By committing to a daily exercise routine, eliminating negative thoughts, people, and other destructive baggage from our lives, and renewing our focus on personal goals, we are ready to “spring” into action with a new determination to make a fresh start in renewing our best selves.
J’Nel Wright is a lifestyle writer who dabbles in relationships and wellness. Her writing has appeared in both regional and national publications addressing a variety of topics ranging from human interest and literature to business, interpersonal behavior, and health issues.
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