Rumored celebrity couple Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx. Are they or aren’t they hooking up? US Weekly says “yes,” they’re a new celebrity couple. Jamie Foxx says “no.” And, because Katie Holmes is Katie Holmes, she won’t even dignify the question with an answer. But regardless of how you feel about this rumor, the story makes obvious the following: hooking up is no longer exclusively for the twenty-something and under crowd. Post-divorce hooking up is now a thing.
But, how can you tell if post-divorce hooking up is right for you?
To maximize your chances of waking up in the morning with no regrets, consult the relationship advice flowchart before getting your groove on:
1. Are you actually divorced?
a. No? Do NOT hook up. Random hookups before your divorce is final are one of the top causes of completely avoidable divorce drama. Get your divorce done first; then, get your freak on.
b. Yes? Proceed to the next question.
Related: 5 Pieces of Love Advice From Celebrity Couples in Long-Term Relationships
2. Are you wearing beer goggles?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. You want your decision to hook up to be made with complete clarity. And nothing clouds your judgment like beer goggles or worse yet, vodka vision.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
Related: Jennie Garth: Can You “Win” the Celebrity Exes Challenge?
3. Are your kids with you?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. The last thing your kids need is to be traumatized by walking in on you doing the wild thing with some random guy.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
4. Are you in a public place?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. Have a little consideration for those around you. Hooking up should only be done in private.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
5. Is the guy you’re thinking about hooking up with young enough to be your kid?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. Look, I’m not trying to be all ageist, but you’re bordering on being really creepy.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
6. Is hooking up with this guy something you hope to keep secret?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. Nothing ever stays a secret—especially not hooking up.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
7. If/when word spreads about this hookup, are you likely to feel embarrassed or humiliated?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. Word WILL spread. So, make sure you’re cool with that.
b. No? Proceed to the next question.
8. Is there a significant chance you will regret this?
a. Yes? Do NOT hook up. And even if you think the idea is awesome when you’re in the heat of the moment, think long and hard before hooking up with a coworker or neighbor. Having to repeatedly run into someone makes it hard to put the whole thing behind you if you do end up regretting it later.
b. No? Go for it!
Christina Pesoli practices family law with Noelke Maples St. Leger Bryant, LLP, in Austin, Texas. She is the author of Break Free From the Divortex: Power Through Your Divorce and Launch Your New Life (Seal Press). She has written extensively on the topic of divorce, providing advice and support designed to help people avoid common mistakes that make divorce take longer and cost more. She also writes advice columns for CultureMap Austin and Divorce Magazine. You can find more of her articles on her website: christinapesoli.com.
