Interview by Sarah Batcheller. Written by Jenna Bagcal
We’ve all been on dates that have flopped miserably. Maybe they’ve even made us think, “What did I do wrong?” or “Why wasn’t he into me?” In this exclusive celebrity interview, Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) professional dancer Karina Smirnoff and her best friend and manager Lindsay Rielly remind readers that these dating disasters happen to the best of us. In their new book We’re Just Not That Into You: Dating Disasters From the Trenches, which came out on Feb. 10, these ladies, along with some of their famous friends, share their perspective about relationships and love and prove that what seems like a bad date now may turn into a hilarious story that you’ll learn from later on.
Karina Smirnoff and Lindsay Rielly Share Dating Advice and Disasters
Sure, Smirnoff is well-known for her moves on the dance floor, but even winning the mirror ball trophy doesn’t make you immune to heartbreak — which is why she decided to share the good, the bad, and the ugly in her new book. According to Rielly, the title of the book is a tongue-in-cheek reminder to women that “it’s not that he’s not into us. It’s a mutual thing!” Their main goal was to remind people that “dating is ultimately fun, not something that you have to dread because of your previous experiences.”
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Embodying this mindset, these two women have not let dating flops get in the way of their positive outlook on relationships and love. Smirnoff’s best piece of dating advice is simple: “Open your mind and your heart. Instead of thinking, ‘Oh my god, I gotta go on another date,’ go with good energy. Great things might come out of it! And the least you’re gonna do is enjoy yourself.”
The best friends ultimately describe the writing process as “fun” with intense and challenging moments at times. “To be honest, I loved every second of it! It was a lot of work though,” Smirnoff says in our exclusive celebrity interview. “Once we started remembering the dates and the details, we looked like Bruce Almighty. Remember when he was God and he was answering emails to everyone? At the end, I just wanted to say yes to all! But writing a book is very liberating and empowering too — I didn’t expect to feel that way.”
In addition to dating stories from Smirnoff and Rielly, We’re Just Not That Into You includes contributions from their girlfriends and other celebrities, including DWTS contestants Leah Thompson, Maria Menounos, and Ralph Macchio as well as fellow professional dancer Cheryl Burke.
Why Men Will Enjoy This Book About Relationships and Love
While the book is geared towards women, Smirnoff and Rielly share that men may also enjoy reading it. “Our publishers read the book, not expecting to love it, and said that neither of them could put it down. It’s the type of book that, if their wives had it, they would steal and read in private,” they explain.
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No need to worry, guys: You’re not to blame for every dating disaster. “There are stories where we laugh at our own behavior,” Smirnoff says. “There were definite situations where we were the catalyst of our own downfall. But that’s the whole point: It’s not like all guys are bad and all girls are good. We’re all good, and we’re all bad…sometimes at the same time.”
Of course, the authors have their fingers crossed that some of their exes check out their new book about love. “I’m personally hoping that at least one specific person reads it. I think that he might learn something about his love life by reading his story,” says Rielly.
“I just hope someone picks it up and asks, ‘Why were you talking about me?'” Smirnoff adds with a laugh.
Professional Dancer Shares What’s Next for Her in Exclusive Celebrity Interview
With her new book being released and other secret projects in the works, Smirnoff will not be returning for the next season of DWTS. After being on the show for “an incredible decade of her life,” the dancer says that she felt it was time to move on and explore new opportunities. “There are a lot of exciting things coming up!” she shares.
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Some of her favorite memories from the show are the relationships that she formed with other professional dancers and her celebrity partners. “I  developed real friendships — friendships where you call each other, where you see each other whenever you’re in town,” she reveals. “I still have that relationship with a lot of my partners, including Ralph Macchio, Jacoby Jones, and J.R. Martinez.”
Speaking of Martinez, one of her favorite seasons was season 13 when she was partnered with the former U.S. Army soldier and actor. She explains, “I love the military. Being partnered with J.R. was very powerful for me because I got to experience some of his world firsthand. I got to experience his story — what he went through and how he came out of it. That was a very important season for me personally.”
You can keep up with Karina on Twitter @Karina_Smirnoff. Check out We’re Just Not That Into You on Amazon!