This post is sponsored by Lesley Robins.
Interview by Lori Bizzoco. Written by Emily Meyer.
When it comes to bad breakups, Lesley Robins has been through them all. In her new book, The Breakup Book: 20 Steps to Heal a Broken Heart, the E! News producer and Young Hollywood contributor walks her readers through a 20-step process to get over your broken heart. Executive Editor Lori Bizzoco recently chatted with the new author about how she managed to thrive after her tough split as well as her best advice for hopeless romantics who are dealing with heartache. Here’s what the nationally-recognized journalist had to say:
Why did you organize your book with a 20-step approach?
There is a reason why the chapters go in the order that they do. At the beginning, I’m not telling you to be grateful; I’m not telling you to travel; I’m not telling you to create a new home the day he leaves you. The first chapter just encourages you to not be alone. You need love — you lost love; now, go find it.
What inspired you to write your book?
As a journalist, I am a host, reporter, producer, and writer. I had all of these things, but I’ve always wanted to be an author. So in 2010, my ex and I had broken up for good. It was a few months after that, and I was still in a really dark place. I was out to dinner with my mentor’s wife, and I was talking about my breakup and what I was trying to do to feel better. She turned to me and said, “That’s your book.” It was at that dinner that we discussed that every chapter should be a piece of advice someone gave me to get through the split. We talked about what worked and what didn’t work, and I crafted it in that moment.
Related Link: 10 Signs That YourRelationship Has Hit a Dead End
It seems like every woman has a story about a bad breakup. Do you think this book will be successful since everyone can relate to it?
We all have a breakup story, yet no one wants to talk about it. We’re human, which means we have flaws. The thing I stress is, when you’re trying to talk about your breakup, you want a neutral party, someone who is not going to judge you. No relationship is alike, and no breakup is alike. However, at the same time, when we talk about it and we can share our story, it’s comforting to know that other people are going through the same thing.
What advice do you give to woman who want to feel confident instead of depressed after a breakup?
You’re not going to feel your best right away — and that’s okay. I’m giving you permission to be sad, depressed, and pathetic for a minute. That’s why the first step is to never be alone. Since you used to have someone by your side 24/7 and now that person is gone, you will need to be surrounded by love. Go find your people!
What do you say to people who feel overwhelmed by the thought of completing 20 steps?
The beautiful thing about these steps is that they can happen simultaneously. You’re not going to start them all at the same time, but they will all eventually merge together to form the new you. It is all really about self-love. I think the main thing that I want women to grasp is the importance of being grateful. Be grateful for everything around you — your family, your friends, your career. Be in the moment and focus on what you can control.
Related Link: How to Get Through a Breakup and Heal Your Heart
Something that I think is really important for our readers to know is that you were in your 30s when this breakup happened. You were thinking about a long-term commitment, even marriage.
In my first draft of the book, I actually didn’t include my age. Then, my editor told me I needed to add it. I met my ex when I was 29, and here I was, single again at 36. Any woman reading it gets it. Being single in your 20s is so different from being single in your 30s! So my life became about doing everything by myself, which was a big adjustment. I had to be okay with being on my own.
What was the hardest chapter for you to write?
I think the hardest chapter for me to write was “Go Cold Turkey with your Ex” because I didn’t master it for a really long time. But once he got engaged, I went cold turkey. That’s when I was finally done. I had no more fight left in me. I went through every emotion I could imagine — and I write about that.
How is your love life going now?
I’m dating, but I’m single. I’m happy and strong, and I’m still a hopeless romantic. The first few months after my breakup, I didn’t want to be with anyone. But now, I am back to being the girl who loves romance and finding love. I love it!
GIVEAWAY ALERT: Two lucky readers will receive a copy of The Breakup Book: 20 Steps to Healing a Broken Heart. To enter our giveaway, email cupid@cupidspulse.com with your full name, address, email, and daytime phone number BEFORE 5 p.m. EST on November 12th. In the subject line, please write “The Breakup Book Giveaway.” You can also enter on Facebook. You can enter the contest only once. Good luck!
Giveaway is now closed. Thank you to all who participated!
Pick up a copy of The Breakup Book: 20 Steps to Heal a Broken Heart today! You can keep up with Lesley on Twitter @LesleyMia.
