By Janeen Diamond for Hope After Divorce
…it’s impossible to have genuine, solid, meaningful relationships with other people if we don’t think much of ourselves.
During an interview this week, I found myself talking about how important the relationships we have in our lives are. And as we talked, we brought up the fact that the relationship we have with ourselves is, by far, one of the most important ones we can have. Why? Because it’s impossible to have genuine, solid, meaningful relationships with other people if we don’t think much of ourselves.
Sisters Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are two good examples of celebrities who have both experienced divorce. What is inspiring about these two well-known siblings is that they each took time out for themselves afterwards. They took time for self-care to heal from the inside out, becoming the best they could be. Jessica and AshLee offer us hope that we can love ourselves even after a great loss. Then, we can find true love all over again.
If we can’t trust ourselves, how are others going to trust us? If we don’t like who we are, how are other people going to care for us? If we don’t enjoy being alone with ourselves, how will others find it enjoyable to spend time with us? If we feel we have nothing to offer, why would we think anyone else believes we have value?
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Consider the life you lead right now. Is it what you want? Are you doing the things that fulfill you and bring you joy? Do you wake up in the morning and look forward to the work you have to do? Do you plan to talk with friends today? Do you have something fun planned for yourself? Will you offer service to someone today?
There are a lot of things we have control over in our lives. If something isn’t working or if there are ways you could improve, decide right now to make a change and begin working toward it. I always like to start with small goals. Perhaps you want to feel more energetic and you just don’t know what you’re doing wrong, or maybe you have a habit of watching too much television and you want to start reading more.
So decide on one thing you would like to change in yourself, like “I want to have more energy!” And set three goals toward accomplishing it: I will have a set bedtime and get a full eight hours of sleep; I will begin a diet overhaul, but this week, I will simply eat two more servings of veggies every day; and I will begin exercising, but maybe this week, I will just start slow by walking twenty minutes each day.
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Or if you want to stop watching so much TV, turn it off for just one hour a day and spend that time reading a book you’ve been interested in.
These are simple examples, but you get the idea. Simple fixes are usually the most far reaching and impactful in the long run because you have a greater chance of actually sticking with the changes. You might have physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental things you want to change. Think about what those desired changes are, and set up a plan to start improving a few things in your life. You may find your relationship with others will begin to improve drastically. You will begin to like yourself more — and that will lead to positive vibes towards family, friends, and co-workers.
Just remember that loving yourself will have a positive impact on everyone you know — especially you!
For more information about Hope After Divorce, click here.
Janeen Diamond, author of 