You’ve won over the guy, but winning over his family is even more daunting. While your feminine wiles and witty repartee may have tugged at his heartstrings, making a killer first impression and getting the stamp of approval from those closest to him takes a slightly different strategy. Much like a first date, the first time you meet the family doesn’t always elicit fireworks. But there are ways to prepare, calm your nerves, and set the stage for a wonderful relationship with your fella’s loved ones. So take a deep breath and let these five Dating with Dignity tips help you relax:
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1. Understand his family landscape: Relationships between family members are often the most deeply rooted and intricate of them all, so gaining a solid understanding of existing tensions or unconventional family arrangements beforehand will save you from surprise. Schooling yourself on your boyfriend’s step-siblings or tense background with his aunt will eliminate awkward situations and allow you to navigate some major conversational pitfalls.
2. Learn their likes: Ever fretted before a first date about what the two of you will talk about? You may be experiencing similar anxiety before meeting the family, but in this case, you have your boyfriend to help you prep. Don’t be shy about pumping him for information about the personalities and interests of those you’re about to meet. Not only will you naturally engage in more thoughtful and free-flowing conversation, but your genuine interest in your partner’s loved ones will score you brownie points with him too.
3. Avoid controversy: No matter how vehemently you and your partner may agree on certain hot button issues, it’s best to err on the side of caution when meeting his family. Sensitive subjects like politics or religion carry with them scores of touchy nuances that could make the conversation treacherous. If you’re worried a certain subject might come up, plan to pre-vet opinions on the issues in question with your boyfriend beforehand in case you need to prepare a PC response or gently nudge him in the ribs to jump in and change the subject.
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4. Mind your manners: Hold that sailor’s tongue, roll up the sleeves of your sensible yet stylish cardigan, and start setting the table. Your language and overall interaction with his family members will all roll into one well-formed opinion of your character. Of course, don’t go overboard with the manners or sensible clothing to the point where you feel stiff and unnatural. You just want to create a sterling (and well-deserved) first impression.
5. Be yourself: You probably saw this one coming: The best way to succeed in any social situation is to relax and let others get to know the real you. Any time you find yourself getting nervous, remember that the whole reason you’re meeting these people in the first place is because your mate is enamored with you. The more naturally you act, the more likely his family will follow suit.
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for yourself and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.
