By Tammy Greene for Hope After Divorce
Let’s face it: Life is crazy! Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of each day is overwhelming: work, family commitments, school, soccer, dance classes, friends, health, birthday parties, holidays, babies, and so on. Sometimes, we look back on the week and wonder where it went. One of the challenges you might face, as a result of this stress, is staying connected to your spouse. Putting your relationship on the back burner can quickly breed cracks in the foundation of marriage — and a cracked foundation can often be difficult to repair.
We’ve heard of several celebrity couples separating as of late, including Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow. Recently, the Coldplay frontman has been rumored to be dating Jennifer Lawrence. It may be too late to rekindle his marriage to the goop founder — or maybe it’s not. Time will tell!
Related Link: Divorce with Dignity
To prevent a complete disconnect from happening, it’s important to make your marriage a priority despite all of the challenges that every day throws at you. Here are a few ideas to help you stay connected to your spouse:
1. Affirm your love each morning: Start the day off with a connection. Before work, children, headaches, and fatigue set in, make sure that your spouse feels your love. Begin the day with a really great kiss, a sweet hug, or at the very least a sincere “I love you.” It may sound simple, but it’s often the simple things that can make the biggest difference in a relationship. Something as small as a steamy kiss can leave your spouse thinking about you all day.
2. Say thank you: We all desire to feel appreciated, but often times, we forget the power of those two words: “Thank you.” Take advantage of the opportunities to say them to your spouse. Show your appreciation for the little things like taking out the trash as well as the big things like going to work everyday so that you can have a better life. Don’t let gratitude go unspoken! Make sure that your spouse knows that you appreciate all that they do.
Related Link: Lessons from Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck
3. Schedule date nights: Regular date nights are an absolute must for a healthy marriage — and they don’t have to be complicated. The purpose of a date night is to reconnect with each other. That could mean doing something as easy as asking Grandma to watch the kids at her house and going back home for pizza on the living room floor. If a sitter is too hard to come by, plan something special at home after the kids go to bed. Stay unplugged, play a game, have dessert, and focus on each other.
4. Plan a vacation: Looking back on your relationship, when did you feel most passionate and happy? It was probably in the early days when you were dating. One reason for this is because, in the beginning, you spend a tremendous amount of time alone together. Then, as marriage and life sets in, that alone time starts to dwindle, often dwindling down to nothing. But maintaining a healthy marriage requires couples to continually take time to be alone. Stay connected with your spouse by getting away for a couple of days. If funds are tight, send the kids to a friend’s house and just stay at home. You’ll be amazed at how far that small amount of time, reconnecting and loving each other, can carry your relationship.
Related Link: Five Secrets Truly Happy Couples Know
It is easy to get disconnected from our spouses. We each have so much on our plates — so many things to do and so many places to be. But putting everything else before our marriages can lead to some serious and sometimes irreparable damage. By making a conscious effort to stay connected, you are giving your marriage all of the nutrients it needs to be healthy and thrive.
Tammy Greene is a graduate of the University of La Verne. She has worked as a Child Life Specialist and social worker assisting families who have children with illness or mental disabilities. Tammy is a producer of the national PBS children’s television show, Curiosity Quest. She has a blog, Married and Naked, where she shares personal lessons learned from her own life, offering helpful ways to navigate through the challenges of marriage. Tammy is a contributing expert at HopeAfterDivorce.org, FamilyShare.com, LAFamily.com and CupidsPulse.com. She is happily married to her high school sweetheart and is the mother of two. See Tammy’s Curiosity Quest website and follow her blog, MarriedandNaked.
