By Todd Valentine
Kissing was once the bane of my dating life. Like many of you, I was shy and worried about offending girls or making them feel uncomfortable. It took nine months of dating before I had my first kiss. Watch any romantic movie, and you’ll notice that there is so much emphasis on the kiss. The kiss is the catalyst for getting physical. But, kissing is just one step in physical escalation, and it probably shouldn’t be the first. A kiss can happen spontaneously—like on a dance floor—but typically you need to get physical in other ways first. One way is to make a move that doesn’t involve kissing. If it’s well received, continue. If not, back off and try again. When a woman says, “no,” sometimes this really means, “not yet.” Girls can be reluctant to make a move for fear of being labeled slutty, so it’s your responsibility to make the interaction physical. Okay, so how do you actually make out with a girl? Below are four techniques that work for me:
1. Triangular Gazing
Look from her eyes, to lips, to eyes, to lips, and so on. This should be done slowly, and ideally, in silence. It conveys that you want to kiss, and it won’t get you in trouble. If she goes silent too, or leans in, kiss her. If not? Try another technique.
Related: 5 Ways to Have a Stress-Free First Date
2. Eskimo Kiss or Neck Bite
The Eskimo Kiss is another move that builds arousal. Rub your nose against hers and say, “Come here—but no lips!” If she’s into it, kiss her, but I would suggest pulling away. You can kiss next time. With the Neck Bite, you’re getting physical, but the girl isn’t technically a participant, so she won’t feel slutty. Plus, a bite often arouses a girl more than a kiss. Lead with, “I need to tell you a secret,” then go for a nibble.
Related: Five Tips for Falling in Love in 2014
3. Eyes-Closed Kiss
“Close your eyes. I want to show you something.” She closes her eyes, you kiss her. Again, this releases the girl from feeling “slutty.” Use this technique if other signals are there but she keeps shying away from kissing. The girl usually knows what you’re up to but will often be glad you relieved her of the responsibility.
4. The Gangster
This is one of my favorites, but it requires courage. It works when you’re not close enough to a girl to kiss her (maybe there’s a table between you). Say, “sh,” go silent, put down your drink, walk around the table, set down her drink, and kiss her. The move itself is so ballsy, and it will be less awkward to go for the kiss than to stop in the middle.
My overall advice is: Go for it. Girls want you to take charge. Get into a sexual vibe so she does too. Slow down, look into her eyes, think sexual thoughts, and use these four techniques. If she responds well, great. If she doesn’t, try again. Even if she doesn’t kiss you, I promise she’ll respect you for the attempt.
Todd Valentine is a global authority on attraction and seduction. For more insights on kissing and dating, check out his blog valentinelife.com and his channel youtube.com/rsdtodd.
