By April Littleton
You and your ex broke things off pretty quickly, and now you’re thinking about giving the romance a second try. Maybe the two of you are still in love, or perhaps you’re finally on your way to being on friendly terms with your former flame. Either way, you might want to ask yourself some questions before you officially decide to rekindle the spark. Cupid has some advice:
1. The breakup: What caused you and your ex to split up in the first place? Did he/she cheat? Did you cheat? What was the ultimate deal breaker in your relationship, and how do you know for sure things will work out for the better the second time around? Remember, your ex is just that for a reason. Whatever problems the two of you had in the beginning will eventually bubble up to the surface. The issues won’t magically disappear. If you expect your romance to flourish this time, be prepared to put in the work to make it happen.
2. Friends and family: What do your friends and family think about your former lover? Do they think you’re better off without him/her, or do they think the two of you might be able to work out your problems? Listen to the advice your loved ones give you. They know you better than you know yourself. They’ll be able to clue you in on what exactly you need in your life right now – and it might not be your ex.
Related: How to Prevent Yourself from Rushing into a Relationship
3. Your feelings: Once you stop and think about it, you might realize you don’t really want your ex back. Are you afraid of being on your own? If you were with your partner for awhile before splitting up, being single again could be a scary situation. You don’t remember what it’s like to date someone new. How do you even know when you’re ready to meet another special someone? Take it a day at a time. You don’t need to go back to someone who doesn’t know how to treat you right. Eventually, you’ll find someone who appreciates all that you are, but first, you have to love yourself.
4. What will change: How certain are you that things will change the second time around? Your ex was still the same person he/she was when you broke up. A drastic change in their personality and/or behavior is highly unlikely – especially if they believe they played no part in the breakup. You can’t go back to a relationship that can’t be fixed, and you shouldn’t want to risk being the person who is responsible for picking up all the broken pieces of a lackluster romance.
Related: Signs Your Crush Is Into YouÂ
5. The good versus the bad:Â You might be able to salvage the relationship if the good outweighs the bad. Think about all the pros and cons to getting back together with your former significant other. Is the outcome worth it?
Did you give your ex another chance? Share your experience below.Â
