By Joanne Pittman for Hope After Divorce
Home for the holidays for a divorced family doesn’t often fit into the Norman Rockwell picture-perfect moment mold. I recall my first Christmas as a divorced parent. First, there was the Christmas card photos — do we or don’t we? Then, there was seeing the photos and knowing that the smiles just don’t look the same, fumbling for what “tidings of joy” I could muster up to include while writing the annual Christmas card “catch-everyone-up-who-we-don’t-see-very-often” letter.
One unexpectedly — or perhaps reluctantly — finds themselves embarking on an entire reinvention of what home for the holidays will look like, feel like, and be like. Regardless of whether you have the most optimal circumstances or the messiest of divorces, the reality that some things will never be the same was, in my experience, the most poignant and tangible during this special time of the year. In years past, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore have been a good example of a divorced couple who have still been able to keep life consistent and peaceful for their children, even during the holiday season.
Related Link: Celebrity Couples Who Function as Families After Divorce
Here are a few simple ideas that may help bring some cheer and light to the holidays and begin the process of building new memories, embracing old traditions, and setting the stage for a beautiful season.
1. Sit down and write a positive message of what the holiday spirit means to you. What is so special about the holiday season, and why does this matter to you and your family?
2. Create something visual to display in your home that reflects this true meaning. Involve your children. Keep your focus on the present, positive opportunities. Make or purchase something cheerful that exemplifies hope for a bright future.
3. Begin a new tradition, something that is visual and incorporates your holiday spirit message. It could be a new take on Christmas pajamas or a holiday sweater, how you present your holiday dinner, or an inspired way to decorate your home.
4. Take care of your personal image. Be sure to treat yourself to a nice haircut, holiday bobble, anything festive that reminds you of your positive holiday spirit message. You need not spend a lot of money.
5. Remove things from the “holiday bin” that may hold unpleasant memories and replace them with things that offer new hope.
6. Allow yourself to let go of the sadness and be grateful for what was good. Look forward to what will be even better in your future. Keeping a positive outlook and a soul filled with gratitude will allow your true self to shine. Nothing warms the heart and builds happy memories more than seeing someone’s eyes sparkling with happiness during the holidays.
Related Link: How to Get Over a Broken Heart During the Holidays
Reinvention of hope is the basis for reinvention of one’s image. My occupation as an image consultant and stylist is often viewed by the outside world as materialistic and shallow. However, if one begins to build their image on the foundation of hope, character, and integrity with the objective to present the authentic self in order to live a more congruent life, the building of one’s personal image and self-esteem becomes a powerful and deeply meaningful tool.
What a glorious time to start to understand, reinvent, and rebuild who you are! My truest wishes to you for the most joyous and beautiful of holiday seasons.
For more information about Hope After Divorce, click here.
As founder of Pittman, Lamitie & Associates, Joanne has developed their proprietary IMAGE Authenticityâ„¢ Training Programs which address the multifaceted work and lifestyle demands on employees and executives in the corporate world today. Her innovative approach has evolved over the past twenty three years in the fashion, fitness, luxury retail and image consulting industries. Joanne has been writing training curriculum and presenting developmental workshops to large and small audiences for over eighteen years. She is known for raising new questions and expectations which successfully foster authentic corporate and personal brand presence.
