By LaKesha Womack, Author of “Is She The ONE?”
Love… What is it? How do you know when you have found it? For some it is easy to determine but for most of us, we need a sign, a couple of clues…
Love is a choice. When you love someone, you have to remind yourself, sometimes daily, that this is the person that you choose to be with. No one is perfect so they will make you mad, make you feel like breaking down but if it is really love, you would rather be with them than without them. The temptation to escape your situation, even temporarily, will come at every turn. You will have a choice to stay or to go, if it’s really love you will choose to stay.
Related: 7 Signs You Might Be in Love
Love requires time. Always remember quality over quantity. Sometimes people get confused and think that you have to spend every free moment with another person; however, you want to be sure that you are giving the best of yourself to that person instead of the most. You need to be present and living in the moment when you are with them. Focus on creating meaningful conversations and moments that build a solid foundation for your relationship.
Love is a priority. You make time for what’s important to you. Just as you should choose to spend time with the person you love, that person should be priority in your life and not an afterthought. This does not mean that you must center your life around another person but if you find that you are not considering how your decisions will affect him or her, you probably aren’t in love.
Love is unconditional. When you really love someone, you don’t try to change them. You love them “because of” who they are and not “in spite of” what you see. You don’t look at their flaws and think of ways to change them rather you realize that their assets and flaws combined create the person you love. Love should be inspiring and uplifting.
Love makes you vulnerable. When you love someone, you let down your guard and let them in. You make yourself emotionally available to share with the other person. You talk about feelings, your past, your present and your future. Most importantly, you are honest. Effective communication requires trust because once you let your guard down and begin sharing, you trust this person to take care of the information you are sharing and to accept you as you are.
Love requires compromise. You will not always be right nor will the other person always be right but you must be willing to meet each other in the middle. You will know its love when you willingly give in to make the person happy and they do the same for you.
Related: 10 Steps to a Remarkable Relationship
Love requires commitment. When you love someone, you don’t want anyone else. When you love someone, you give it your all. You leave nothing on the table. You don’t hold back. There is no Plan B.
LaKesha Womack is the author of “Is She The ONE?” a relationship book written for men who think they are ready to get married but want to be sure. It provides ten exercises for a couple to use and determine whether they truly know each other well enough to commit the rest of their lives to each other. Network with LaKesha on Twitter (@LaKeshaWomack), Facebook (MsLaKeshaWomack) and LinkedIn (WomackCG) after you visit her personal blog (LaKeshaWomack.com).
