By M. Hill
Have I been out of the dating field so long that they’ve completely altered the whole arena without me even knowing? I’m talking about STYLE dates. Are you familiar with these things, you know, dates with a theme?
Here’s one type: Prankster Date. Example: Pretend to be a couple looking to buy a new car, maybe. Doesn’t that sound like fun — totally yanking the chain of someone trying to earn a living? Or why stop there? Why not pretend to be a married couple looking to put an aging parent in a home? Together you can tour assisted living facilities and giggle behind the backs of those showing you around. Oh, what fun! They say prankster dates do bring out your playful side.
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Another is the ‘Best Of’ Date. Examples may include trying to find the best ice cream parlor in town or, say, the best microbrewery. In these instances, while getting to know each other, couples can eat themselves into oblivion or drink themselves into oblivion — the best of both worlds — either way, chances are good each will end up vomiting — and, really, what better way to get to know someone than when they’re at their worst?
Or how about this: Scavenger Hunt Date. This is apparently the adult version of that childhood classic I Spy with my Little Eye. Example: “Would you like to go to the boardwalk and see how many people we can spot wearing hats?” I don’t think I need to add any additional commentary on this one, do you? Seriously, could you imagine being asked out on a date like this? I mean if you’re already in a relationship and happen to be out taking a walk and decide to throw in something like… like… nope, not even then, forget it. Unless you’re looking to date a seven-year-old, I’d say this indicates your search for Mr. Right (or Mrs.) is far from over.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Errand Date. Pretty much self-explanatory, and again, picture you’re not in a relationship with this person, you’re being asked out on a date. “Say, if you’re not doing anything this weekend, the hull of my boat needs refinishing…” It’s not a euphemism. The theory behind this one is that tedious chores become fun dates. Could you imagine? Think about it, yard work, grocery shopping, house cleaning, ooh, laundry — you know, with this line of thinking the fun is nearly limitless — and why not get to know someone by sorting through their dirty laundry? This is what seems to interest people nowadays, anyway.
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I don’t know. It’s probably just me (it usually is), but does anyone ever just do dinner and a movie anymore? Maybe this sort of date could regain its popularity if it had a trendy name? What do you think about The Retro Date? Call me old-fashioned, but I kind of like the sound of that.
M. Hill is a 40-something year old Northeast transplant living in Scottsdale, AZ who authored the book The Ones That Got Away – A Dating Memoir which is really just an elaborate answer to the question, “Why are you still single?”