By Marni Battista
Moving on after a breakup can be tough. At Dating with Dignity, we don’t think the best way to get over your ex is to get under someone else! Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest are one Hollywood “It Couple” that recently ended their relationship, and it looks like at least one of them has moved on. Rumors have it that Seacrest has already bagged himself a new lady friend, while Hough still wants him back. If we could advise the bubbly blonde on how to pick herself up again, here are the tips we’d give her:
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1. Put YOU first. When you go through a breakup, it’s extremely important to make sure you take care of yourself first. Even if you saw it coming or it was a decision you know is for the best, it’s important to allow yourself time to grieve the loss. Take this opportunity to get back to your fitness regimen, reconnect with old friends, start an activity that perhaps you’ve put aside for a while or even take a solo weekend vacation. Take some time to feel sad (after all, it’s normal to be sad) and remember what you enjoy about yourself.
2. Don’t be afraid to say yes to dates. If you get asked out at your local coffee shop or at a friend’s birthday bash, say yes. Even if you feel it might be too soon to launch into a super-serious relationship, saying yes to an evening of flirting or a nice dinner won’t hurt. It’s important to let yourself be seen by someone who doesn’t know your “story,” and it allows you the opportunity to get back to being you. Plus, it feels good to be pursued!
3. Have fun with girlfriends. When you’re in a long-term relationship, you often forget about girl time. Take this opportunity to reconnect with your friends: go out for a night on the town, have fun and take pictures of how much fun you’re having to anchor to the new life you’re creating. Posting photos on Instagram or checking in on Foursquare to that hot new restaurant opening is totally fine by us too. While the urge to stay in your cave may be strong, trust us that it’s important to get your “girl” on and put yourself back in social situations.
4. Remember that it’s okay to be single! Even though it sucks when you don’t have a date to the next summer wedding or a go-to Saturday night plan, creating the life you want has to start with you and you alone.
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Coming from a place of fear that “I’ll never meet anyone” or “ I’m getting too old” will only lead you down a path you don’t want to be on. Relish in the “what’s good” about being single and make a list of the things you get to do now that you have more time. Read more books, develop deeper friendships, focus on completing projects that kept getting put on the back burner, go to sleep when you want and cherish that the remote control is all yours.
If Hough took our advice, we think she’d be well on her way to getting over her breakup with Mr. American Idol. Remember: there are plenty of (taller) fish in the sea!
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for your self and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.
