By Ashley DelBello
All relationships struggle at some point and in many cases more than once, but it puts even more of a strain on it when your significant other loses his focus or sense of purpose. It’s 2013, but most men still have that “provider of the family” mentality and feel it’s necessary to be the one — for lack of a better term — “bringing home the bacon.” So, what happens when your boyfriend or husband loses their job and doesn’t have it in him to move on?
First, figure out if you’re in it for the long haul.
Typically, new relationships won’t succeed in this type of environment, but whether it does happen with the new guy you’re dating or your husband of five years, you will need to decide if this is something you’re able to help guide him through while he figures things out. You also need to examine what you’re looking for in a relationship if this has been an issue between the two of you for some time. His laid-back attitude may compliment your more assertive, goal-oriented personality and you may enjoy taking the lead in the relationship. However, if you’re looking to be a part of a power couple, then this will be an ongoing source of disappointment and frustration for you.
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Support, support, support.
There has to be that balance between support and pushing too much. You can want the best for someone, you also have to understand that they will also need to want it for themselves. You need to keep that in mind as you both navigate through this situation.
Suggest starting over professionally with an internship.
Maybe his lack of ambition is stemming from a lack of passion for what he’s doing. If he or as a couple you can afford it, see if he would be interested in looking into internships to explore where he wants to go next in his career. We’ve seen it happen in Hollywood and while it may seem unrealistic, the storyline is coming from somewhere real so if nothing else works, then why not try something that could help lead him to finding something he gets excited about.
Guy time. As well as girl time.
Any activity that gives you both some time away from each other on a regular basis will be beneficial to the both of you so the focus isn’t always on your relationship. It also allows the both of you to talk candidly with your friends — as with everything, venting is healthy in moderation.
Professional counseling.
It’s OK to seek outside help — they provide an objective third-party perspective and are also trained to help you both figure this out.
Related: The Key to a Lasting Relationship
Last of all — know that it might not be possible to move forward with your relationship. When you feel like you have given it everything you have and don’t think you can continue with the way things are, recognize that it’s OK to walk away. It’s not a decision to be made lightly or quickly, but sometimes approaches to life are just too different for relationships to work well on a long-term basis.
Have you been in a similar situation where your partner lost his ambition? If so, what did you do to overcome this and keep your relationship on track?
