By Jared Sais
Last night’s episode of The Bachelor featured the four coveted hometown dates and there were a lot of tells when it came to body language. Based on Sean’s behavior, it was obvious to me that he’s attracted to these girls, but he isn’t ready to move forward with anyone just yet. It looks like reality just hit him on the hometown dates that the goal of the show is marriage. He says he’s excited for that next step, yet he’s showing extreme signs of anxiety: heavy breathing, lack of eye contact and shrugging. Sean is more uncertain about his future than ever before.
On that note, let’s get started…
AshLee
If anything, Sean’s extreme nervousness towards AshLee is telling of his strong feelings for her. However, he showed shame when kissing her by looking down right away. He also looked down and showed shame again when he said, “I’m so happy I’m here.”
AshLee’s really in love with Sean. She looks at him with admiring eyes (wide eyes that are paired with a strong gaze and slightly raised eyebrows). Of course, she also has a huge smile with crow’s feet (wrinkles around her eyes).
Related Link: The Bachelor 17, Episode 7: Victory in St. Croix!
Now, let’s move on to AshLee’s parents. Her father and mother showed anger when hearing about the dates with Sean, especially the romantic comments, yet they were happy to see their daughter’s reaction to the bachelor. They were trying to play bad cops, but you could see flashes of smiling beneath it all. Additionally, micro-expressions of sadness — a dimpled chin, lowering of his corner lips, raising of his inner eyebrows, loss of eye contact — came across AshLee’s father’s face when he was talking about the first time he saw her. It’s easy to see that AshLee has a great family.
After asking about possibly proposing to AshLee, Sean took a deep breath, a sign of relief mixed with anxiety. He really likes her, and asking that question was a big step for him.
Projected Ranking: #1
Family: A+
Sean’s Lust Level: A+
Drama: 0 out of 10
Hometown Location: A
Catherine
We heard a giggly laugh from Sean at the start of their date, so he was happy to see her. However, when he said, “When I am with Catherine, I can see my wife,” he did a major shoulder shrug to non-verbally indicate his uncertainty about the statement.
Sean went in for a kiss, which would normally be a huge indicator of his attraction. Instead, I noticed a slight body flinch from Catherine, meaning that she only intended to hug him. What many viewers saw as something big was nothing more then a non-verbal fake out.
Maybe Catherine isn’t quite sure of her relationship with Sean either. When she was chatting her sisters, she used the phrase “try it out” as she spoke about marriage. She couldn’t give a definite yes. Her choice of words allowed her to dodge the question. Plus, when she said she was crazy about Sean, she shook her head no, which means she’s either lying or she’s not as crazy about him as she says. I think she likes him a lot, but isn’t ready for marriage or mature enough to make such a big commitment just yet.
When speaking to Catherine’s mother, Sean had his hand in his pocket, which is a sign of intimidation. He also had his feet/legs crossed and pointed at the door, indicating that he doesn’t plan on leaving this conversation but would like to flee the room because he is very uncomfortable. Even his body is facing away from her. Still, as Sean was opening up to Catherine’s mother, I could tell he was being genuine by his use of open hand gestures (talking with his hands with palms facing up or towards the other individual).
Projected Ranking: #3
Family: B-
Sean’s Lust Level: B+
Drama: 4 out of 10
Location: A-
Lindsay
Sean ran to Lindsay for a hug when they first saw each other, a sign of strong affection and excitement.
He later said, “Lindsay could be the one who I could spend most of my life with.” When saying “could be the one,” he did a shoulder shrug, which is an accrete non-verbal cue meaning maybe…so his words align with his actions. However, when finishing that sentence with “spend most of my life with,” Sean did a micro-expression of anger (lips pinched, eyes glaring, eyebrows lowered). I wish I could ask him why he felt anger at this moment, but it was either towards himself, Lindsay, or the situation. Also, let’s focus on the word “most.” He could’ve said “my whole life” or “forever,” but instead, he used non-committal language.
We can’t forget to discuss Lindsay’s parents too. Her mom did a hand steeple, showing that she is the dominant one. Her dad might be a two-star general, but Sean was focused on pleasing the wrong person! Lucky for our ‘Bachelor’, Lindsay’s mom used gestures of openness, showing that she really liked him.
Projected Ranking: #2
Family: A
Sean’s Lust Level: A+
Drama: 2 out of 10
Location: C+
Related Link: 10 Steps to a Remarkable Relationship
Desiree
I immediately knew that Des’s ex-boyfriend was a fake. The actor never showed any real signs of anger or jealously. He even flashed a smile during his encounter with Sean. The bachelor, though, definitely didn’t know that it was prank, as he showed body language of anger (closed fists) and defensiveness (crossed arms).
Of course, we have to analyze Des’s brother’s behavior. He called Sean out on liking other girls…and I can’t really blame him. Sean might not have liked what he said, but you’d think he’d understand where he was coming from, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the case, as Sean’s non-verbal cues were very negative after their chat.
Let’s observe their facial expressions too. They were primarily those of anger, sadness and shame. I think Sean was truly hurt by Des’s brother, mostly by the “playboy” comment. I wonder how much of Sean’s actions on The Bachelor were his true self versus the producers directing him. I feel like he might not have wanted to be as much as a flirt as he actually was.
Projected Ranking: #4
Family: F
Sean’s Lust Level: A+
Drama: 8 out of 10
Location: A
Rose Ceremony
At the end of the day, family drama was the deciding factor. Des would have been in the top three if her brother would have just been quiet, but instead, he stole the spotlight and, in doing so, ruined his sister’s chances with Sean. On one hand, I agree with the bachelor. On the other side, though, I think having an overprotective brother is better than feeling like you’ll never fit in, as Sean stated about Catherine’s family. After all, an overprotective brother may come around. Though I knew he would ultimately send Des home, I would’ve picked Catherine.
Be sure to check back in tomorrow for my thoughts on tonight’s The Bachelor: Sean Tells All special!
Jared Sais is co-author of the website The Non-Verbal Game. He is an expert in non-verbal communication, who specializes in body language, micro-expressions and lie deception as they relate to life and love. For more information and to download a free PDF of the speech he gave at NYC’s Single In Stilettos, click here.
