By Marni Battista
Demi Moore, Mayor of Cougarville – Population: 1?
Demi Moore has done it again. Earlier this year, she scooped up a hunk of a fellow, and this time he is even younger than Ashton Kutcher. In January, Moore, who is currently in the middle of her divorce with Kutcher, was seen out doing nothing but drinking and partying with the younger set. She was photographed with art dealer, Vito Schnabel, who is 26 years old – which, in case anyone is counting, is half of her age. So should our collective response be along the lines of “you go, girl!”, or should we feel sorry for her? She shares her admiration for younger guys with the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey and Madonna, so it seems to be a common trend in Hollywood. Is there really a difference if a woman dates a man fewer than 10 years younger than her versus 20-plus years younger? Does it matter?
We can learn a few things from these famous ladies about the benefits and pitfalls of dating a younger man.
Related Link: Cougar Dating Love Lessons Even Demi Moore Can Use
BENEFITS
Lack of baggage: Hooray! No psycho ex-wife? Check. No kids who hate you? Check. When dating a younger man, you can be confident that he won’t have a nightmare ex to drive you crazy. Plus, he won’t come loaded with a horrendous view of women based on his traumatic past relationships.
Having grown up in a slightly more modern society than you will most likely enable him to have a fresher perspective on women as well as a different opinion of “the working woman,” as his mom may very well have been that very girl. In addition, because there is less baggage, there is less compromise for the older woman. There is less “stuff” to have to incorporate from his life into yours. And as a result, he’s more likely to slip into your everyday world effortlessly.
Health: A younger guy has a much higher probability of being healthy and fit. This means that, when you go on that beach stroll or hike in the hills, he’s not going to be complaining about his knees. For a woman who feels “young at heart” and also has a healthy lifestyle, a younger man will feel like more of a match.
An added bonus? When it comes to the care and feeding of her partner, the extent of a younger man’s daily intake will be more along the lines of a B vitamin rather than Preparation H or Tiger Balm. We like the former option better.
PITFALLS
He may not know what he wants to be when he grows up: When you date a man who’s your age (or perhaps five or ten years your senior), he’ll most likely be established in his career and set on his life intentions. But a younger man might be just starting out or still struggling with what he wants to do. Not only can this cause an issue regarding his financial security, but it can also lead to an identity crisis – for both of you. Being with a man who is launching a professional career or perhaps is between jobs can be a daunting task. You just have to be up to the challenge.
Fear of leaving you for a younger lady: Jennifer Lopez supposedly has asked boyfriend Casper Smart, “Why don’t you go find a young girlfriend and get out of here? What do you want with me?” Well, we can think of a few things… But he doesn’t appear to be going anywhere, so perhaps she has nothing to worry about anyway.
Related Link: J. Lo and Casper Smart: What Their Body Language Says About Their Love
That said, it’s a common for an older woman dating a younger man to fear that he’ll leave her for someone younger. Unfortunately, you can’t make yourself younger or make him older, so it’s critical to get comfortable and trust that his feelings for you extend beyond the physical.
Whether your type of guy is older or younger than you, just remember that if it feels right and he meets all your needs (emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual), you can go for it while still holding on firmly to your dignity!
Marni Battista, founder of Dating with Dignity, is an expert dating and life coach with a 10-step system to manifesting love for your self and others. You can contact Marni at marni@datingwithdignity.com.
