By Joshua Pompey
Some people want a new I-Pad for the holidays. Others want nothing more than a relaxing spa retreat. Me, I’m a little easier than your average receiver of gifts. This holiday season, I just want one present; for the following five celebrities to disappear forever! So please Santa, if you are out there, make this five people go away forever…
1. Justin Beiber.
I know you are a just a kid. I know you have grown up under the spotlight. But I can’t for the life of me understand your popularity, nor do I want to. Please fade into the light forever with your fake picture scams and your on again, off again Disney girlfriend like all the other childhood heartthrobs, so that I never have to see a whiny teenage girl screaming your name again. It’s been nice to know you, but see ya later kid.
Related Link: How to Get Over a Broken Heart During the Holidays
2. Kim Kardashian.
Is America finally coming to its senses, or are the Kardashians just between seasons. It seems the world has finally reached a point where the Kardashians are no longer an inexplicable obsession. We’ve watched you strut how much talent you don’t have on television for years, enjoyed your self-released sex tape, and those of us that managed not to blink for a few days, even witnessed your “fairy tale wedding.” Even being with Kanye West is no longer making you relevant. Your time is done, so please, fade away as ungracefully as you came in. However, feel free to give Scott Stap his own reality show in Vegas. Now that is television I’d watch (pending he dumps the world’s most awful girlfriend).
Related Link: How to Communicate with Your Ex Over the Holidays
3. Lindsey Lohan.
Lindsey, I know you need help, and I hope you find it. But one thing is for sure, you could ride an ambulance backwards on a highway, while sniffing cocaine off the dashboard, and nobody will be surprised, or care. Your antics are tired, and more importantly, frustrating to a public that actually has to follow laws with consequences. You had your last shot with a Lifetime movie (has it really come to that?), and it debuted with a lackluster 3 million views. Its time to retire into a permanent rehab home with your mother of the year.
4. Madonna.
It amazes me that I can still turn on a news channel and see her irrelevant antics. Your self-righteousness is delusional at best, and you are too old to act the way you act. It’s time to check into that nursing home, but on your way, please take Lady Gaga with you.
5. The cast of The Jersey Shore.
Ok, I know this is technically more than one person, but I’m going to cheat a little bit. Now that your show is officially ending, please, no more shows, spin offs, or fake and scripted television. You were all cute and funny when you were unaware of how ridiculous you all looked in season one. Now it’s just annoying. Please spend the remainder of your days performing public services to Italian groups, attempting to undo the decades of damage you have done to their reputation, not to mention, the entire state of New Jersey.
Joshua Pompey provides online dating advice for men around the world. Check out GetREALDates Online Dating Advice for plenty of free information. Or check out GetREALDates Online Dating Profiles, for the best online dating profiles.
