By Jennifer Ross and Laura Seaman
Perhaps your one-year dating anniversary is coming up. Or maybe you’ve just gotten engaged and announced it publicly. You may even be making your wedding arrangements; deposits have already been given. Almost all your friends are envious of your relationship. Yet deep inside, you have a nagging suspicion that something’s just not right. The feeling started out small, probably as a momentary thought that you perceived as ridiculous and quickly dismissed. However, with every passing day, this “ridiculous thought” continues to creep up at different times, and you find it worrisome. Don’t fret — you’re not the first one to experience this issue!
It’s surprising how many people, when reflecting back on their lives, knew not only that they should have called off their relationship, engagement or wedding but also the very moment when it should’ve happened. There were times when a red flag drew its ugly head, and they ignored them, not wanting to discuss them for fear of embarrassment or starting a fight.
However, we don’t recommend that approach. When you have a nagging feeling that won’t go away, you must wake up! Listen to it and decide whether it bears any truth or not. If you’re hesitant to call off your relationship, here are five warning signs that can help you decide.
Related Link: 7 Steps to Recover From Ending a Relationship
1. Waiting for improvement: If you keep telling yourself, “Oh, they’ll stop doing that once we’re married” or “They’ll change when they become a parent,” just stop. If you don’t like someone for who they are at that exact moment, you shouldn’t be with them. Don’t keep hanging around waiting for who they could be because that might never happen.
2. Infidelity: This is one of the biggest red flags that the relationship is failing. Every day, so many people are cheated on by their partner, and yet, the relationship continues. Most of the time, it happens not because someone is a philanderer but because there is a void or issue that one or both sides aren’t willing to discuss. Remember that the problem isn’t going to go away on its own.
3. There is a missing link: Communication between you two is good, but certain fundamental issues either haven’t been discussed or cannot be agreed upon. Things like how many children to have, which church to go to, and where to live are crucial questions to be answered in order for the relationship to last.
Related Link: How to Break Up Without Breaking Them Down
4. Your parents aren’t on board: When your parents voice that the your partner isn’t a good fit for you, their advice should be considered. After all, they know you better than anyone else! They love you and have your best interest at heart. They also have the advantage of being an outside observer and can see things that you can’t.
5. You just have a gut feeling: Too often, our instincts warn us to take heed, and we don’t listen. If your gut is telling not to move forward, it’s best to call it off and understand why. At the very least, you should temporarily take a break from your relationship until the feeling passes. If your love is meant to be, you’ll eventually resolve whatever looming issue you may have.
What warning sign do you find easiest to ignore? Let us know in the comments below!
