By SMF Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com
Fall is basically here. For guys, it’s a magical time of year. Each Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, a dude gets to wallow in the sheer, unbridled ecstasy of following his favorite football team. Nothing brings him greater joy and satisfaction than seeing his squad of eleven helmeted gladiators scratch out victories during football season. And I’m sure you’ve also been witness to his devastation… evidenced by your man’s vacant look and glassy eyes after a loss.
Here’s the best way to describe the male connection to football– it’s sort of like a soap opera for men. There are multiple stories, with outrageous characters, good guys, bad guys, cliffhangers and the inevitable conclusion.
I’m writing this to prepare you for the next five months. Many of you are football fans yourselves (including many of the GalTime Gals– don’t worry, we’ll do another post for diehard female fans), but for those of you who aren’t … I’m hopeful that some of these tips will help to make the coming months more manageable — perhaps even save a few relationships. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Tips for Getting Through Football Season
1. This Storm Will Pass. It’s easier said than done, I know, but if you just keep reminding yourself that that the season does end eventually, it will lighten the emotional load a tad bit.
2. It’s just a game. The emotional rollercoaster men ride during the football season is not to be taken lightly. The absolute worst thing anyone could say is, “It’s just a game.” No. This is not true. This is SO not true. Was Michael Jackson “just a singer?” Was Mark Twain “just a writer?” Is you mom “just a mom?” Of course not. The game and the teams matter. As guys, we’re not offered many opportunities to unleash raw emotion — crying, experiencing child-like giddiness, anger, depression, and exultation — are all uncharacteristically free-flowing during football season. Don’t judge, just be there to wipe his tears…. and keep bringing out the nachos.
3. Do Your Thing. There’s no better opportunity for “Girl Time” than during football season. Seriously. I wish more women understood this. Don’t get mad at his obsession. Don’t feel neglected by his attention being focused on his football mistress. Get back in touch with your girlfriends and hang out them. Oh and you have no idea how easy it is to get compliance from a guy when the game is on. He’ll say “yes” to virtually any request. HER: “Honey, my ex boyfriend, you know the one who still wants me? Yeah, he wants to meet for coffee on Sunday.” HIM: “Oh cool, babe. Tell him said ‘Hi’!”
4. If You Can’t Beat ‘Em. Listen, of all the things you could do, this might be the absolute BEST move on your part. Join in his fun (or soul crushing depression) by buying his favorite team’s jersey and get on board on game day. Learn the game, some basic strategy, a few players’ names, etc. Odds are you’ll get swept up in the emotion right along with him. Like the old saying goes, “The couple that watches football together…. holds off the divorce for 6 more months.” Or something like that. One point though — never ask questions DURING the game! Wait for commercials!
5. Find Another Guy. Seriously. If you that selfish and you can’t let your man indulge himself during the season then you’re just not a nice person. Poor guy. All he ever does is try to make you happy and all you can do is think of yourself? Do you have any idea how emotionally draining a football season can be? If you can’t be his rock during those harrowing final two minutes of the game with the team down by 6, needing a touchdown to win, with 99 yards to go and the starting quarterback knocked of the game, then what do you really have? This is not a real relationship! Do him and you a favor and find a new man!
I think that last one may have been a teensy bit over the top. Maybe.
Not really.
Are you ready for some football?
