By Jennifer Oikle, PhD for GalTime.com
tips for that first date conversation
The night you’ve been waiting for is finally here. You’re going out with HIM! You’re so eager to get to know him better. Let’s be honest… you want to let him experience the real you. But hold on; It’s make it or break it time. You only get one, somewhat delicate, chance to make a first impression so he needs to meet the best you.
To ensure he sees your most excellent, beautiful self shine through, you’ll need to watch your words. They can have a way of hanging you when you least expect it. To stay in the safe zone, be sure never to utter one of these five things on your first date:
Impression Buster 1: “Doesn’t dating (online) suck!”
Singles often say this to build rapport and it can feel chummy to share dating war stories. However, in the back of his mind, you’ve already planted a little negative seed that says, “I look on the dark side.” Now, he will be waiting for it to sprout into a full downer.
Impression Booster: Instead, build a real and positive connection by asking what he’s passionate about. Also, share your most meaningful thrill too.
Impression Buster 2: “You should know, I have this condition, baggage, big fat hairy issue…”
Shouldn’t you just come out and share all of the potential deal breakers right off the bat? No! When you make it past the first three-crucial dates, there is plenty of time to share the full, naked truth. Telling him right now, without knowing more about you, he’ll probably press the reject button. However, if he likes who you really are at first, there is a lot he’ll accept, including your otherwise lovely self.
Impression Booster: Why not highlight reasons why you are a total catch? Share a few stories that show your “great catch” qualities in order for him to get a sneak peak into your true self.
Impression Buster 3: “My ex was such a jerk.”
Any talk of your past relationships on a first date is a big turn off. Playing the blame game is the biggest no-no of all. This shows that you aren’t mature enough yet to take responsibility for your behavior. He’ll wonder just how long it will be until you blame him for everything.
Impression Booster: If you must explore previous relationships on your first date, try asking him what he learned about himself the last time he was part of a couple. This will encourage him to show you how he’s grown as a partner! In return, you can share the same about yourself.
Impression Buster 4: “Waiter, I can’t believe this soup is cold. Get me another!”
He’s watching your every move to get a sense of how you will treat him over time. Even if you’re sweet as sugar to him, once you indulge in impatient, unkind, or rude remarks to other people, he will not be able to trust you. He’ll know there is a monster lurking and ready to attack him at any moment.
Impression Booster: When things do not go perfect or as planned, show him you can stay calm, friendly, and gracious under stress. That’s the kind of partner he knows he’d be lucky to land.
Impression Buster 5: “My place or yours?”
If you really like him, leave a little mystery by making him wait to discover more of you. Building intrigue and allowing time for a real bond is the only way to avoid a crash-and-burn first date.
Impression Booster: Keep it simple by saying, “You seem like a great guy. I can’t wait to learn more about you soon,” as you smile and head for the door.
By watching your words and staying positive, you can create a great first impression, which will spark in him the desire to see you again.
