Q&A: Is it Okay to Break Up With Someone via Text?

Question from Lauren A.: I was dating a guy for a month when he broke up with me via text. I thought this was extremely impersonal and I deserved at least a phone call, but my guy friends said that because we were only dating for a short length of time, breaking up with a text message is fine. What are your thoughts? Is there a certain length of time you have to be dating someone to receive a more intimate break-up?   

Answers from Our Love Experts:

Tristan Coopersmith, Love Stylist: That’s like asking if there is there a certain length of time you should know someone to be just plain polite to them! Call me old-school, but I believe in a thing called respect. I think you should treat people the way you want to be treated, and only spend time with those who reciprocate in kind. Although the breakup undoubtedly stings, you dodged a bullet with this guy. After all, if he would breakup with you over a freaking text, you could probably count on him proposing via email. Hardly a guy worthy of your love! Onwards and upwards!

Suzanne Oshima, Matchmaker: In this age of technology, a break up can be done through any of the following forms of communication: in person, a phone call, an email, or a text message. An in person break up is the most intimate, a text message is the most impersonal and a phone call or an email is somewhere in between. The fact of the matter is that you weren’t really in a serious relationship after only a month.  Since you were only dating, he probably felt a text was acceptable.  It’s important to understand the reason why most guys break up with someone this way; it’s the easy way out.  He doesn’t have to face you, your emotions or your questions as to “why.” While I know you feel you deserved more, just remember, a text is still much better than him just disappearing and leaving you wondering what happened. 

Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: A break up via text message makes me think that the other person never really cared about the relationship, no matter how long it may have been. When someone wants to break up, it means there was some kind of problem in the relationship. A text message does not give the other person the chance to defend themselves and it closes the door to working through the issues and figuring out your differences. If the guy truly cared about you, he would want to at least try to work it out, and if he doesn’t care enough to do that, he’s not worth it anyway.

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