By Marni Kinrys of www.winggirlmethod.com
Now, I am not a single mom or even a mother for that matter, but during last night’s episode of ‘The Bachelorette,’ I got a good sense of how it may feel. I had no idea just how much parents put their children before them. It was beautiful.
I really believe that this season is no joke. They are getting down right serious. If this keeps up, Emily Maynard will come out of this experience with a good, solid man and a great relationship. How do I know that? Because this season has one thing that has been lacking from every other season: reality!
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Last night’s episode was kind of like a roller coaster for me. One second, I was falling head over heels for guys like Sean, Doug and Arie. The next second, I was ready to punch the screen and throw up. Like when Ryan basically said to Emily, “I won’t do you if you become a fatty.” I get what he was trying to say, but that man does not know how to sensitively deliver a message and communicate with women. Not a good sign if he wants to be a father to Emily’s daughter. He would give the kid an eating disorder in less than a year. Hello, Dating Red Flag!!!
Lucky for Emily, there were numerous men who showed their true colors last night and made those flags very easy for her to spot and eliminate.
Here are my Do’s and Don’ts of Dating A Single Mom based on what I learned last night:
Do: Show a single mom that you know how to comfort and take care of another person. For this reason alone, I freaking love Arie. On his date, he checked in with her, touched her, asked her questions. Then, at the Rose Ceremony, he could sense that something had gone wrong, and he pulled her in close to comfort her. That shows leadership, strength and warmth. A great combination for success with any woman, especially when dating a single mom.
Do Not: Wait for a woman, especially a single mother, to bring up “the talk” if you’re not feeling it. Like Tony, the single dad who was emotionally breaking down. It was hard for me to watch; I kept thinking, “If you really felt a connection with her, you would push through because that would be the best thing for you AND your son.” I could tell that he just wasn’t feeling it, which is why he was latching on so tightly to his son. Sweet but not attractive. He was afraid to admit “defeat.” Better to be honest with yourself rather than hurt a single mom when so much is at stake.
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Do: Calmly express what you are thinking and picturing to a woman, while touching her at the same time. I love when Sean sat down with her, touched her forearm and communicated how a life with him would look. SEEEEEXY!!! He did such a great job telling her who he was, what he was ready for and who he hoped to be for Emily.
Do Not: Tell a single mother that falling in love with her and gaining a child is a huge compromise. When Alessandro said that to her, I could feel my chest tightening up. The nerve of that man! Not to mention that he honestly seemed like a buffoon while he was talking to her. He wasn’t like that last week, was he? Buddy, leave at week one if the girl’s not right for you. No one should ever feel they are compromising BEFORE they get into a relationship.
Can’t wait to see what happens next week! Hopefully, Ryan and Kalon will show more of their true colors, and Emily will learn that these guys are NOT father material.