By Marni Kinrys, Ultimate Wing Girl
Has reality TV suddenly gone real? This season of the Bachelorette is actually shocking me because it’s real (or as real as reality can get). They’re in Emily’s hometown. She’s living in her own home with her daughter. Friends and family surround her while she seeks romance. Looks pretty real to me. We can only hope that the bachelors match up to that sentiment.
Every time the show wants to veer into la la land, it immediately gets brought back to reality, with Emily. Her life is real and the decisions she makes will not only reflect her, but also her 6-year-old daughter. Things like this completely changes the game for her and the guys on the show.
As dynamic as a date can get, there is huge reality reminder right in front of every guy, at all times. Emily is a mother, and the winner will end his experience with a new wife and child. That should definitely weed out the competition hungry contestants vs. the sincere men who are there for the girl.
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I’m loving how assertive and hard hitting Emily has been right off that bat. For her it’s essential. But is it reality?
I work with hundreds of thousands of guys all over the world. I tell them how to attract, date and get any woman they want. My first date advice to them is always “keep it light” but keep your eyes open and don’t avoid red flags because she’s pretty.
When the show ended I turned to my husband and said, do you think those questions would fly in the real world? His first response was “hell no”. Then he thought for a second and said, there are some people that are just really comfortable putting it all out there because it’s important to them. When you have a kid involved, that intensity is already increased for you. If you’re with a guy who can’t handle a little serious conversation on the first date, then he’s probably not the guy for you. I think it’s totally acceptable to get real on a first date as long as you don’t let your emotions carry you away.
For Emily, dating is about finding a partner in life not a tennis partner for a match this weekend. In real life, you are free to bring up anything that you want on a first date, second, third, twentieth.. But you want to make sure you are bringing it up the right way and for the right reason.
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In open conversation there is no room to get emotional i.e. defensive, angry, moody, aggressive. Open conversation, is meant to be handled exactly as it was shown on last night’s episode. Over a candle light dinner in a beautiful mansion 😉 Kidding. Open conversation, whether it’s on the first date or the hundredth, is about expressing what you think and feel and then listening to what the other person has to say.
Do: Feel comfortable to talk about real things to pertain to you and your life. Talk openly and honestly with tact
Don’t: Throw up your emotions and insecurities all over your date
Do: Listen to your date’s views/opinions even if they don’t reflect your own
Don’t: Let your ego dictate your responses. No ego’s allowed at the mature conversation table.
No ego’s allowed at the conversation table.
So far, Emily is far exceeding my expectations. She is in this for love and family. I’m really hoping she finds her match in that garden of fine men and will be smart enough to pull out the weeds as quickly as possible.
