By Deana Meccariello
Kailen Rosenberg is a nationally-respected matchmaker and relationship expert who has helped many stars establish celebrity relationships throughout the years. She has a gift for bringing you back to the person you really are deep-down inside and helping you to shed the hard-coated exterior that society has forced you to wear. Given her background, it’s no surprise that she’s best described as a “love architect.” So what is a love architect? It’s someone who comes into a person’s life, whether they are married or single, to help find cracks in their foundation (which is where the idea of an “architect” came from) that are in need of strengthening and repair.
As Rosenberg explains, “Whether you look at it spiritually or psychologically, I’m helping to mend areas that need truth and awakening. I come in and find those areas that need work, and then I help my clients come to their own truth. They discover which parts haven’t been solid and built in a healthy way. Once that’s done, they can finally have the relationship and love that they’ve always wanted and deserve.”
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Kailen Rosenberg Discusses Being a Dating Expert on Reality TV Show The Bachelor
As proven by the many romance-focused reality TV shows of today, singles are finding it harder than ever to find a partner. Rosenberg can attest to that, having served as a matchmaker and relationship expert on season three of The Bachelor. “I worked behind-the-scenes in regards to seeking out the right bachelorettes for the show. I actually interviewed Bob the Bachelor,” she reveals.
Reality TV or not, the dating expert can shine a light in the dark corners of an individual’s personality and help them truly find what — and who — they are looking for. She explains, “When most people come to me, they look pretty darn amazing in person and on paper. They believe that they like who they are, and in many ways, when we’re talking about the ego, they do like who they are.”
Rosenberg expands on this expert love advice and adds, “However, they come to me believing that the issue isn’t really about them but rather about finding the right person. During my beginning assessment process, people begin to realize that they never knew who they were and that they became the person they were told to be or taught to be by society. Therefore, they’re not only attracted to the wrong people, but they’re also attracting the wrong people.”
With this thought in mind, her first priority is to teach people who they truly are. “After I finally introduce and match my client with their true self, then we can get down to who this person should be dating. We’ve put over 200 marriages together and haven’t had one divorce, which is just crazy and unheard of,” she shares. “I think it’s because these people are connecting on a genuine level that most people never have the opportunity to experience.”
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Revealing how important her work is to her, Rosenberg gushes from the other end of the phone, “It’s much more than matchmaking to me.”
The relationship expert knows that, in order to find love, her client must be a healthy-minded person. They have to be in a place where they are self-aware and know that what they’ve been doing isn’t working. This kind of acknowledgement tends to set the mind for positive experiences, whether they’re an everyday person or a celebrity. For example, a radiant and successful woman with everything going for her, like Jennifer Aniston, will still have problems keeping a man if she doesn’t have this mind set.
In fact, speaking of Aniston, Rosenberg says, “I do have clients that know her and say she’s lovely. However, there is a very apparent trend in her love life. She is darling, and there is so much to like about her, but there is something going on with her, something that she needs to pay attention to. She needs to get down to the reality of what it is that she is doing. What is surfacing in her relationships after a certain level of intimacy, and what unhealthy pattern she keeps accepting into her life? I really think that’s what it comes down to for her.”
The Highs and Lows of Celebrity Couple Clients
Celebrity relationships, media, and technology can be a dangerous mix. Rosenberg says that there are people, like Kim Kardashian, who are being followed around by a camera and dealing with sensationalism in every aspect of their love lives. Then on a real-world level, we have people using Facebook, Twitter and other social networking platforms to post every detail about their relationships — from happy pictures of the good times to angry rants detailing a harsh fight or break-up.
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“The reality is that they’re publicizing who they are as well as their personal relationships, and when you act this way, people are going to look at you and scrutinize you — the good and the bad,” the dating expert explains. “As a couple, you need to be a team and understand that all that matters is what you and your partner know to be the truth.”
Rosenberg then adds, “If there is something that is triggering a pain or disconnect from the outside based on what you read or see, that’s something that you have to look within to understand. Couples need to be grounded in what love is really meant to be and not the attention it can bring.”
Another fascinating component of the relationship expert business is what she refers to as a “life remodel.” This particular piece caters to — but is not limited to — people in Maria Shriver’s position. For people who have been cheated on and are struggling with a messy divorce, Rosenberg can bring a person back from the ashes and help them move on. “In a case like Maria’s, there are always signs. We always have life poking at us with the truth, and it is up to us whether or not we want to see it,” she says.
However, this mindset is easier said than done. “Sadly, most times, we choose to turn a blind eye to things that are not good for us, and eventually, it comes crashing down. Then, we no longer have power or control,” says Rosenberg. “I think someone in Maria’s situation would have to ask, ‘Were there signs? How far back? Why did I choose to ignore them?’ It is important for Maria to forgive herself and, as hard as it may sound, to forgive Arnold. The most amazing thing is that sometimes, from the deepest trenches of pain, we can end up finding the most amazing love we’ve ever had.”
It always goes back to your past. “You have to look at your view on relationships, including that of your mother and father. What was your vision of love, and what is it now?,” Rosenberg asks. “Focus on what loving you means as well as what is still good and precious in your life. Surround yourself with people who are truthful.”
