By Diamon Hall
To outsiders looking in, marriage is a sign that your life is complete, and both people are still “head-over-heels” in love. Privately, however, the husband may be thinking, ‘my has she changed,’ while the wife is often silently wondering, ‘is this really what I signed up for? ’ Andrea Syrtash is a dating and relationship expert, on-air personality and author. With her new book, Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband) ready to hit the stands in September, she gives women solutions and advice that will help their marriage prosper for years to come.
Although she is married herself, Syrtash says the book isn’t only from personal experience (although there are some personal lessons shared), but also from interviews she conducted with other women and by citing the latest research on marriage, giving her readers a wide variety of opinions. Syrtash didn’t want the book to come off as a desperate attempt to save your relationship, but rather as a source of tips and advice to rekindle the romance. This book is ideal for anyone who feels they’ve lost track of why they’re married and don’t know where to go from here.
Recently, Cupid had a chance to chat with Ms. Syrtash, and here’s what she had to say:
How did you come up with the title of your new book?
The original title was How to Date Your Husband and that became the subtitle to Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband). I chose the word ‘cheat’ because too often we feel guilty when we focus on ourselves and our marriage when we have so many other competing demands; but cheating in this case is a good thing! I wanted a title that was fun, playful, and a little provocative. I didn’t want it to be a relationship rescue book, but rather a relationship renewal book.
What made you choose this career field?
I actually went into it undecided, but I knew I loved journalism and connecting with people about their experiences. I was always the advice-giver amongst friends and family, but didn’t know that I would eventually do that professionally. After journalism school, I earned a certificate in life coaching. Over the last decade, I’ve interviewed hundreds of people and spent thousands of hours focused on relationship research. I love it.
Is the book more so you speaking from experience, or is it mostly advice?
The book opens by telling the readers that I’m not just interested in lecturing them, but I do want to inspire them into action. It’s not a memoir, but I do share my marriage experience so that I can have a little more intimacy with my readers. My advice is driven by my journalism and coaching background. I know the best advice I can share comes from interviewing real women in different situations.
What is the best piece of advice you give to couples in the book?
Marriage is a choice that you have to make every day. People need to realize they can’t just be complacent because that’s the easiest option. Another theme in the book came from an 80-year-old woman I interviewed. She said, “The most important thing you can offer in a relationship is your presence.” One of the big elements of my book is “Small steps will create big changes.”
How does being a dating and relationship expert come into play in your own life?
The irony is that sometimes I’m not taking my own advice! As I’m writing about a topic and researching it, sometimes I get a wake-up call, because I’m immersed in the material. In my last book He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing), I talked about how I was writing advice columns to follow your heart, and I discovered I wasn’t. I don’t wanna be a hypocrite. I definitely want to practice what I preach.
I know you interviewed our founder, Lori Bizzoco. What type of advice did she give, and what was it about her story that interested you?
I love that Lori is a mother of two and has her own business. She strikes me as a person who’s loyal to her passion. She models advise in my book very well: You can’t be passionate in your marriage if you’re not passionate in your own life, and I saw that in Lori. She’s featured in my “Sweat the Small Stuff” chapter, and that’s because I see her and her husband doing small things for each other all the time, just to show their appreciation. I dedicated the book to jugglers (women who are juggling a lot of different responsibilities). Lori is definitely a juggler.
Do you think women need a book like this, and why?
I hope that people see my brand of advice as upbeat and inspiring. My advice isn’t driven from a place of fear or scarcity. I try to focus on what is there already – and how to make it better. This is intentional because I want to inspire my readers to try new things….not because things will be doomed if she doesn’t, but because her life will be great if she does.
In addition to the release of the upcoming book, Syrtash has also been a regular advice columnist and contributor to numerous popular sites, including Yahoo, The Huffington Post, and Oprah.com, as well as being the on-air host of ‘On Dating’, produced by NBC Digital Studios. She has shared advice in various media outlets across the country, including The Today Show, USA Today, VH1 and NPR, among others. Syrtash also speaks regularly about effective relationships at conferences and workshops across the country. For her upcoming schedule, refer to www.andreasyrtash.com.
Syrtash feels the book will give readers’ marriages a boost! She stresses the fact that this isn’t heavy relationship self-help; but a positive, encouraging tool full of keys to a successful (and fun!) marriage.
Cupid wants to give a big thanks to author, Andrea Syrtash for giving us some of her time. Be sure to check out her new book Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband) at Amazon..
