By Tanni Deb
Prince William and Kate Middleton invited an astronomical number of guests to their wedding: 1,900 people! Yet most of us are wondering how we can get invited without having to work the affair itself. Sure – you can watch the fanfare on NBC (at 4 a.m. EST no less!), but it’s not the same as getting dressed, attending the event and bumping elbows with A-listers from around the world. If you feel left out and want to see the ceremony in person, here are strategies that worked for some of the hundreds of guests that will be at Westminster Abbey on April 29:
1. Embarrass yourself in public, Kanye West-style: West’s infamous humiliation of Taylor Swift at 2009’s MTV Video Music Awards didn’t stop the royals from inviting him. While millions of us watch the wedding overseas, West has the honor of mingling with many notable international figures – and may even get to offend some of them as well.
2. Open a pub: Middleton’s favorite pub owner, John Haley, is attending the nuptials. If you want an invite, follow suit! Open your own bar close to Buckingham Palace, pray that someone in the royal family is a regular visitor, and hope that you’ll score an invite when Prince Harry gets engaged.
3. Stay close to the family: If Ellen DeGeneres, the queen of comedy, stayed in touch with her distant relative, she probably would’ve been dancing down the aisle at Westminster Abbey. Sadly, the 15th cousin of Kate Middleton won’t get that opportunity. Check your genealogy – you just might be royalty.
4. Become a popular sports player: Think British football (or as Americans call it, soccer). It’s no surprise that David and Victoria Beckham are on the guest list. If you want an invite, start working on your athletic skills now.
5. Mind your manners: Simon Cowell, former American Idol host, won’t be in attendance. Last month, he told Jay Leno, “I may have said something to the Queen about her hat when I met her…” In that case, you can’t really blame the royals for not inviting him. It pays to play well with others, Cowell.
6. Be a nanny: Rumor has it that former royal nanny, Tiggy Legge-Bourke, will be a guest. While it’s too late to take care of these princes, positions are sure to open up once they have kids, so stay on guard.
7. Don’t humiliate your fellow royals: Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, and his daughters, Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice, received an invitation. However, ex-wife and mother, Sarah Ferguson, was left out. Well, that’s embarrassing – and bound to happen when you try to sell access to your ex-husband. Moral of the story: If you ever wish to attend a royal event, never mess with the royal family.
8. Become a charity volunteer…: Volunteer at a charity where Prince William is the president; you’ll automatically be invited. Who says it doesn’t pay to volunteer?
9. …or join the military: In Britain, of course. It was reported that 30 members of the country’s Defense Services will see the nuptials in person. Join the forces now; that number might increase when the next ceremony takes place.
10. Don’t run for President of the United States: If the emperor of Japan, sultan of Brunei, and the kings of Malaysia, Tonga and Thailand are invited to this affair, you’d think the president of a leading first-world country would be as well. Unfortunately, President Obama didn’t make the cut. Why, you ask? Blame it on the expensive costs for security to protect him and the First Lady. Looks like the Prince has also been affected by the recession.
Well, there you have it! If any of these strategies work for you, let us know. However, if you’re unsuccessful, the ‘Not Flippin’ Invited’ party at London’s Mahiki nightclub would love to have you around. And if that’s too far for you, consider throwing your own, “Where’s My Royal Wedding Invitation” party.
