By Rachel Pace
Choosing a mate is one of the biggest choices you’ll ever make. When you decided to marry your partner you probably never thought that this choice could make or break your career. It may sound extreme, but studies from Washington University in St. Louis show that your spouse’s personality, namely a conscientious mate, may have a direct influence on how successful your career is.The same traits that you love in your marriage may help you professionally down the line. Choosing a wife who is supportive or a husband who encourages you to do your best can make all the difference in your success. So, choose carefully!
Here is some of the best marriage advice for your professional and romantic future. These are the top personality traits to look out for when picking your life partner:
1. LOOK FOR… A Supportive Spouse:Â When choosing a mate, you weren’t likely thinking about how their personality might affect your future career. After all, getting married is all about the initial physical attraction, following emotional attraction, and a strong love.
If you want someone who will be good for your career, follow this marriage advice: create a support system. This means you and your partner listen to one another, offer help, pay attention to your spouse’s needs, laugh together, show love, patience, and always as a team. If you have a healthy support system at home you know that your partner will always be rooting for you through the good times and is ready to be your shoulder to lean on during the hard days.
2. AVOID… Jealousy: Marriage advice regarding jealousy usually goes a little something like this: “Jealousy is damaging to your marriage on a good day.” A level of healthy jealousy regarding someone moving in on your spouse is normal. It is when jealousy moves into the realms of anxiety and control that it becomes damaging.
Telltale signs that your spouse is jealous of your career include the following: speaking negatively about your job, trying to hold you back from advancing in work, and not showing any interest in your day. Career jealousy can happen for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps your spouse feels stuck in their own profession or wishes they had more time with you. Regardless of their reasoning, a jealous spouse can hold you back from advancing in your professional life.
Related Link: Expert Marriage Advice: What I Learned About Business After Getting Married
3. LOOK FOR… A Conscientious Mate: A conscientious mate is someone who takes great care and puts effort in whatever they do and are guided by a strong sense of right and wrong. A conscientious mate, for example, would tidy up the house without being asked. These scrupulous partners are great for both your marriage, your career, and your health. In fact, a 2009 study by the University of Illinois suggests that women who are paired with a conscientious husband experience added benefits to their health. In the 2014 study “The Role of Active Assortment in Spousal Similarity” research found that women typically listed traits such as conscientiousness and agreeableness higher in the desired partner than men did. The statistic mentioned at the onset, researched by Washington University in St. Louis, followed 5,000 married couples and looked at their measures of income, job satisfaction, and the likelihood of getting promoted.
The research found that those with conscientious spouses increased their chances of higher pay, increased job satisfaction, and were more likely to be promoted. Why? A conscientious mate knows how to take care of things. They do what needs to be done to care for your children, your home, and their own professional pursuits. They do this without being asked and likely without complaint. This personality trait allows you to focus your energy and attention on work pursuits. It also allows you to recharge and relax in your downtime. This is beneficial since the more you’re able to wind-down at home, the happier you will be. This good attitude then positively affects both your work capabilities and your marriage.
4. AVOID… Narcissism: You’ve likely met a few narcissists in your life. Hopefully, you aren’t married to one. Named for Narcissus, a man who fell in love with himself and drowned in a pool of water trying to catch his own reflection, narcissism is not a quality you want in your mate. Especially if you want them to support your career goals.
Narcissism is marked by a person lacking empathy, quick to jealousy, a strong sense of entitlement, preoccupied with one’s self and also their appearance, and a strong need for excessive admiration. This person believes they are special and deserve to be the center of attention. Research from the National Center for Biotechnology Information suggests that those married to a narcissistic partner will experience a decline in relationship satisfaction over time. Needless to say, a person with a narcissistic personality will not be interested in showing you and your career moves a wide array of support.
Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Handle Heartbreak
5. AIM FOR… A balance in your Work-Life: Striking that perfect work-life balance is essential for maintaining a happy home while you pursue your career goals. When you come home, remember to leave work at the office. Your time at home is meant to be spent with your spouse, connecting, talking, and enjoying one another’s company. Not answering work emails.
It’s also important for you to show your partner that they are your number one priority. Even the most conscientious husband or wife can still feel left out if you’ve been focusing too heavily on your work. One way you can do this is by unplugging from your smart devices when you are home with your spouse. Listen when they speak, and make an effort to have a regular date night with one another. Taking care of your own needs and desires is also important for a healthy work-life balance.
Choosing a mate is important. If you want to be successful in your career and in your marriage, choose your partner carefully. Look for a partner who is not jealous, who shows patience, empathy, and is conscientious. In return, make sure you are doing your best to create a work-life balance that contributes to a happy marriage.
Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.
