Question from Natalie L.: I was seeing a guy a while ago. It didn’t work out in the end since he was too immature, but during the brief relationship he said something that stands out in my mind today. He said he had been checking up frequently for months to see if I was still with my boyfriend at the time (and jumped at the chance to be with me once he saw I was single). I didn’t think much of it then but now I see it was kind of creepy. How can I tell red flags from online dating ideally sooner than later to avoid situations like this?
Dating has always been complex dance between couples. Add our modern technology into the mix, and it gets even more tricky to find a partner who is best for you. However, do not fret. Leave it up to our relationship experts who can offer their best dating advice on using technology the right way. Online dating isn’t going anywhere, so let’s learn how to date properly in this technological age! Here you will learn a few dating tips that will help you avoid online dating red flags before it’s too late.
Dating Advice On Deciphering Red Flags Online
Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to online dating, you don’t really know someone until you “know” someone. If you rush into the first and subsequent dates, and then a relationship, then you may miss all the red flags along the way. So, it’s always best to proceed slowly and get to know him. Dating advice I always recommend is to exchange a few emails, then move it to texting, then a phone call. Then if he seems okay, move it to the first date. And then as you go on more dates, really get to know him, ask questions and get curious. He will start to reveal more and more about himself. And with each step in the process, you will get to know him a little better and either the red flags will start to appear… or you will see that you have a great guy on your hands.
Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Has Technology Changed the Way We Date?
Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: This is a tricky area. What may have seemed like creepy behavior could have simply been be a young man waiting his turn for a chance to connect with a lady who sparked an interest. Or, it could be creepy. How can you know? And how can you spot red flags with potential suitors? There is no perfect method to address this common issue. However, deploying a combination of your intuition, common sense, and due diligence will help. When meeting a new guy, ask him for his full name. If he hesitates or gives you incorrect information, it’s definitely a red flag. You probably want to Google him, too. If you have mutual connections, get their take on his character. You might also ask him his thoughts about dating, his likes and dislikes, and why he’s single. If any of his answers seem shaky, it’s a possible red flag. But again, your most important tool when deciding if a new guy “feels” right for you is your gut instincts. Pay attention and good luck!
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How has technology affected your dating life? Share your stories in the comments below.
