By Roy Sheppard
Here in the UK, we are being drenched with Prince William and Kate Middleton stories in the media. They are everywhere!
Unlike the loved-up celebrities who can’t wait to show off the latest in a long line of soul mates, what’s different about Prince William and Middleton is their quiet togetherness. They already exude a sense of being an ‘us,’ rather than part of a ‘me + me’ relationship. Their focus is on each other, and they’re not trying to convince their friends or the world that they’re together. They just are.
They royal couple each have what I describe in my book, How to Be The One — a well-developed Emotional Core, the emotional equivalent of a strong physical core stability known to anyone who has ever practiced Yoga or Pilates. The emotional ‘muscles’ they have developed in life include: a healthy self-esteem, an appealing attitude to life, a deep sense of inner happiness and kindness towards others.
Faced by the world’s media at a press conference announcing their engagement, did you notice how William so gently reassured and supported his bride-to-be, knowing how nervous she must have been? That’s classy. But you don’t have to be royalty to be considerate. So, for the next month, commit yourself to the following:
1. Instead of focusing on what you want from a date, put some effort into being that sort of person for them. Adopt or develop those same qualities you value so much in others. You want someone loving, trustworthy, reliable and considerate? Well, how would you score on those same qualities?
2. William and Kate are best friends. Decide to be nice to everyone you meet and everyone you date. Just be friendly with no agenda. And forget the so-called ‘dating rules.’ Let’s face it, they mostly encourage you to treat people like you dislike them!
3. Those who have exhausted “just having fun” are looking for someone special with whom to share their lives. There are men and women out there who create idealized fantasy figures in their heads, and no one can live up to them. My fear is that millions of people will keep looking, but will fail to realize that their wish list may be completely unrealistic. Happy, long-lasting relationships are based on trust, love and commitment; but there seems to be a lot of confusion about the definitions of those qualities. In my book, I talk about how commitment has been diluted into “Commitment Light,” a diet cola version of the quality.
Invest time developing your emotional core. You’ll pass more ‘auditions,’ which will open up options. Plus, you’ll be able to share the limelight with an A-list partner in a Blockbuster relationship, rather than a low-budget soap opera!