By Charly Emery

2011 served up some serious heartbreak for a multitude of our favorite celebrities.  Off the court, Tony Parker messed up his shot at matrimonial bliss with Eva Longoria.  Arnold Schwarzenegger mis-played his hand with Maria, while the Latin heat known as Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony incinerated any enthusiasm for making their marriage work.  Twitter gave us a glimpse behind the final curtain of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s six year production, and Taylor Swift kept us all armed with a plethora of musical angst-filled love memoirs – courtesy of her little black book of breakups.

So which “ex factor” do Taylor Swift and Demi Moore along with a host of other stars have in common?

They can all take advantage of the clean slate that this brand new year offers by using their “exes” to attract their best relationships ever – and so can you.  Here are three tips out of my new dating handbook, Thank Goodness You Dumped His Ass–Use Those Mr. Wrongs to Lead You Straight to Mr. Right for Taylor, Demi and anyone else who’s ready to replace their chemistry experiments with a winning romantic concoction that lasts:

Related: Demi Moore Proves There’s Hope After Divorce

1. Assess who you were in your previous relationship(s) and ask yourself why you chose him/her.

Charlyism #5-1: The worse your ex was, the more important it is for you to pinpoint why you chose him [or her] and invested the effort you made.

2. Re-define what comprises an A-list mate for you, along with what you wish to experience in “your ideal relationship” so you can determine if it’s possible with those you’re dating.

Related: Amy Spencer Talks About ‘Meeting Your Half-Orange’

Charlyism #3-3: Defining the necessary ingredients for the relationship you wish to consume will prevent you from living life with a bitter aftertaste.

3. Love yourself first by using your awareness of what you’re looking for to drive your choices so the love portfolios you invest in yield big dividends in satisfaction and fulfillment.

Charlyism #3-10: Make sure you love your [partner] more than the idea of being in love with him [or her] and Charlyism #3-11: Choose to be 100% of you and single over being less than your best with a man [or woman].

Cheers to your best relationship ever.