By Marni Battista, Founder of Dating with Dignity
Let’s face it: while Disney, RomCom’s and The Bachelor have consistently fueled American women’s desire to be swept off their feet by the dashingly handsome, successful, and sensitive man, they are, simply put, not stupid.
As a dignity dating and relationship expert who works with thousands and thousands of single women around the globe, I can tell you that women are, in fact, ready for love. However, just as NBC has promptly cancelled its newest reality dating show Friday, with the same title, women are taking a stand for their dignity and what they really want to experience when it comes to finding love.
My clients (who posted hundreds of comments in a private Facebook group on Wednesday morning, the day after Ready for Love’s second episode aired) became disheartened by the message the show was sending to single women just like them, reinforcing the beliefs they are desperately trying to shake.
…after watching last night, there was a part of me that feels as though the show reinforced some of my limiting beliefs that in order to find love you have to be America’s version of perfect (two of the women were runners-up in the Miss Universe pageant).
Luckily, Amy has the benefit of being in a community of women who have drawn a line in the sand and are beginning to understand how important it is to, in Amy’s words, “really know and believe in oneself to combat subtle messages the media relentlessly broadcasts that impact my thoughts.”
So, does NBC’s cancellation of the show as result of dismal ratings mean that they are ready to finally admit that American women no longer want to watch flawless looking women with low self-esteem throw themselves at men they don’t know?
And, while having the matchmakers on the show was brilliant in that it pointed out that pretty women actually do not necessarily have any sort of advantage when it comes to surviving in the dating jungle (FACT: when gorgeous blondes talk about farting on a first date or share that they have a list of 50 characteristics a man has to have in order to be her partner, looks become insignificant), it quite frankly isn’t enough.
If television executives want to produce dating shows, perhaps they ought to create programming that real women want. They want advice. They want direction. They want tips and strategies they can apply now, in real life. They want to know how to love themselves even when Disney, RomCom’s and The Bachelor say that pretty girls always finish first and that love doesn’t last. They want hope. And they want inspiration.
Perhaps, it’s time for something akin to The Biggest Loser meets The Bachelor, except that there aren’t three men himbos whining about wanting to find their “best friend,” and the women have, in fact transformed, realizing that THEY have the power to choose their partner, and that getting “rejected” means it wasn’t the right match, and that they are still valuable, loving and love-able humans with or without a man in their life.
I believe it is time for a new era in the television dating arena. Perhaps my mission to help women love themselves so that they can then find someone to love is actually taking hold.
Bravo to the viewers who said “no,” and thank you to NBC for listening.
As the founder of Dating with Dignity and with more than 25 years of personal relationship and dating experience, Marni Battista dated, was married for 17 years and divorced, and then successfully dated again in the 21st century. She has undergone professional training in dating and relationship coaching as well as training in the Core Energy Coaching Process from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). Marni also has extensive training as a Facilitator with the Hoffman Institute, one of the world’s foremost organizations in personal development. More importantly, as a divorcee for more than five years, Marni truly understands what it feels like to be lonely and sick of wasting time on dates with men that go nowhere. A woman who is not your mother, best friend, or therapist, Marni is the professional relationship and dating expert who will stand behind you to provide love, compassion, support and honest guidance as you embark on one of the most important, fulfilling adventures in your life.