By Deborah Downey

The most important aspect of dating is to be confident. Men and women want different things from relationships and love as they age. Consider the following dating advice, as it’s perfect for those of you who want more options when it comes to the dating pool and are determined to find true love in a monogamous, committed relationship filled with passion and purpose with the person of your dreams.

7-Step Dating System for Relationships and Love

To begin, design your search path and ask yourself what you want your love life to look like. Dating is a fact-finding mission; it’s a process of elimination. You will attract someone with the exact amount of self-worth that you possess. Follow these steps:

Step one: Define what you want. Not who you want.

Related Link: 10 Relationship Myths

Step two: Evaluate your readiness and check your motives.

Step three: Revise your needs and make sure they are realistic and that you have attainable goals.

Step four: Build your mindset and lose any doubt.

Step five: Create a “want ad for love” to the universe (not to print or show or tell anyone). Also, construct a strategy / plan to meet your loved one.

Step six: Prepare, Practice, and Poise

Step seven: Support Sorting and Sex

Related Link: Dating Advice: Six Tips for Meeting Someone Special in 2015

Check out the following conversation topics to use as dating advice:

Talk about books, movies, interests, hobbies, parents, work, hopes and dreams, spirituality, habits, relationship to money, health, their financial health… any debt? Last relationship? Why it ended …how long it lasted…what they found really unappealing? What they learned about themselves?

Final Thoughts:

Make sure to watch and listen carefully on a date. People will show you who they are by how they treat wait staff or drivers. Take your own car for the first few dates, and go to places where there are lots of people. Stay away from his or her place for a minimum of 3 dates.

A date for the first 3 weeks is best if it lasts no longer than 3 hours.
Don’t take or be taken hostage by spending multiple days on a date with someone. Only see them once or twice a week for the first 3 weeks and try to see other people while dating them until you mutually agree to be exclusive. Do ask them about sexually transmitted diseases, and make sure they’ve been tested recently.

Deborah Downey’s experience spans 25 years of recovery in various 12-step programs around the country. Holding certifications as a professional life coach and as a chemical dependency counselor, Downey has dealt with addiction in its various forms, both as the child of alcoholic parents and as a confidant for others. In her self-help book, “What Are You Worried About!” (http://www.coachdeborahdowney.com/), Downey, who has multiple sclerosis, details a proactive approach to training one’s mind to think positive.