Cupid's Pulse Article: Is It EVER Appropriate To Date Your Friend’s Ex?Cupid's Pulse Article: Is It EVER Appropriate To Date Your Friend’s Ex?

By Maggie Manfredi

When it comes to the biffle bible, it is safe to say that the commandment, “Thou shalt not date a friend’s ex” is at the top of the list. Friendship is based on trust and honesty and so are monogamous relationships. However, it is always important to follow your heart and to do the things in life that make you happy, so is there an exception to this rule? Possibly, but handle the situation with care. There are many factors and steps to take into consideration before you proceed.

Dr. Deb Castaldo, author of Relationship Reboot says, “First and foremost is you must have permission from your friend.” So, take your friend out for coffee and spill the ex boyfriend beans. As a third party to their previous relationship, you should have a good idea of how it ended and if they are on good terms as individuals. Even if the break up was the opposite of Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” music video, you still need to ask your friend if what you are about to do is okay. This shows you care about their feelings and want their respect and blessing. Depending on how the conversation goes, here are 10 things to consider:

1. Do not get intimately involved with this potential partner prior to having a conversation with your friend.

2. Make sure plenty of time has passed, as it takes awhile to heal after a breakup and your friend will need that time.

3. Do not keep secrets from your friend or her exp; in this situation, being open and honest is key.

4. Be considerate of your friend’s feelings. This person was in their life first so it will be tough for them to picture you filling the same role that they did.

5. If your friend says no, it means no. Try not to burn a bridge.

6. Don’t be afraid to shop around.  Dr. Castaldo says, “There are plenty of fish! You may be better off searching elsewhere for a date and a potential mate. “

7. If your friend gives you their blessing, ease into the relationship. Be considerate in social settings with mutual friends, and on social media posts.

8. Though your bestie may have given you the go-ahead, they still might feel hurt or vulnerable with this new information. Make extra time for them because they have been very good to you.

9. If your friend asks you not to date this ex, try not to take it personally. Keep moving forward and be happy to know that your friend is not bullshitting you.

10. Be kind to the people that surround you. You never know when heartache will strike and you will be glad to have real and true friends by your side.

Have you been in this situation before? We would love to hear your perspective! Share with us below.