By David Wygant

I’m going to share with you some of the best advice that my mother gave me when I was younger.  When I was 19 years old, I was dating a girl named Kris. She was the love of my life. Well, the love of my very short life at the time. She was my high school sweetheart, and she literally broke my heart three weeks before the prom.

Thankfully, for me, we got back together that summer, but once again, she broke my heart right before I went to college. I remember spending my freshman year of college listening to “Keep On Loving You” by Reo Speed Wagon and thinking about her. All I thought about was getting back with her. I spent the whole time romanticizing about all that was great between us and ignoring the reasons we broke up in the first place.

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The summer between my freshman and sophomore year, Kris and I got back together again! It was amazing. It was fantastic. We were in love again. I was thinking I would marry her in 8.4 years, when we both got out of school. Then all of a sudden, she broke my heart one more time.  I remember sitting there in my room, crying again, and thinking to myself, “How am I going to get her back for the fourth time?”

My mother walked in. Little did I know, my parents were separating and getting a divorce at the same time. She sat down at the edge of my bed, looked at me, and said, “In life, you never know how things are going to work out. Even if you’ve been with somebody a very long time, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be with them forever. You’re going to meet somebody again one day that loves you more than Kris ever did.”

I cried. I went to school, and then after a while, I realized what great advice that was. I was going to meet somebody who loved me more. Isn’t that what we want? Don’t we all want somebody who loves us as much as we love them? Throughout my life, I’ve always remembered and embraced my mother’s advice. Most importantly, I’ve always paid attention to it whenever a relationship ended. I was always going to find somebody who loved me more.

See, what we do when we’re breaking up with somebody, is we romanticize about the good times. We ignore all the lessons that were there. Let me tell you something: If a relationship doesn’t work out between two people once, the chances are it will never work out. There are tons of reasons why, and most the time, you’ll never get to the bottom of it.

I’m sure that, if you’re going through a breakup now, you’re wondering, “What if I did this differently? What if she hadn’t done that?”  You could spend years talking and thinking things through, and you’ll find a few reasons things haven’t worked out. What you have to remember is the person you’re romanticizing about in your head isn’t going to change. You’re remembering the good and blocking out all the negative reasons you guys can’t be together. That’s the key.

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Maybe you’re hung up on your ex because you don’t like the idea of being single. If that’s the case, I’m going to end this post with some of the best advice I’ve ever given people about relationships. Being single gives you the opportunity to meet someone you’ve never met before and the chance to use the lessons you learned from past relationships to avoid making the same mistakes again.

So stop romanticizing about the ex and start remembering the reasons you’re not together anymore. Learn the lessons and move on. Being single gives you the chance to create magic. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it!

For more information on David Wygant, check him out on our Experts Page.